Mar 2, 2009
I would walk up the path to the shop almost every morning to say hello. In at 5 am there wasn’t much of a chance that you wouldn’t find Gord already there, cleaning up his workshop, painting a door, fixing one of the tractors. You knew he was there, he had the morning news playing or perhaps the all oldies station. Humming to himself, tapping his feet.
“Morning my son!” came the chipper and fatherly voice from the back of the shop. “Morning Gord! How’s the day lookin’?” I would reply.
“Incredible, did you hear the birds this morning? Incredible!”
That was Gord, pretty much every day. Until he got sick. After a mis-diagnosis by the local hospital… Hernia they said. He moved to Calgary to be closer to his son. When the pain continued he went to the Alberta hospital. Not a hernia at all, nope. Cancer.
He has battled it for the last three years and we have thought about him often, hoping and praying for him to get better. I hadn’t seen him since he left. Had a couple of telephone calls, a few holiday cards back and forth. Then on Sunday morning came a knock on my door. There he was Gord and his wife. Big hugs all around, so good to see him. We all gathered around the dining room table to catch up. It was great… until… Henni leaned over to me and said, “Gord’s here to say goodbye. The doctors have said he has 6 months.”
SLAM! Wow, what do you say. I just tried to smile and soak up the moment. His smile, making everyone laugh at the table. Henni, wiping away the tears that were forming in her eyes.”
After about a 45 minute visit, I went to show Gord the Dining hall, we renovated it since he left. He said he was so proud of us, of me. He gave me a big hug. Just before he left he said, thank you for letting him be part of YLCC. It meant a lot to him. Then he drove away, tears in both of our eyes.
It’s strange to think… I may never see you again. I felt empty.
Life has a strange way of trying its best to show you its fragility. My dearest friend Laura who is 29 is recovering from her Chemo for Breast Cancer, another example of how life couldn’t care less if you feel you’re to young or to good to be hit by its incredible power. It may not be fair, but it’s life. I was diagnosed in September with progressive MS and that is scary as well, who knows how my life will turn out from this point on. I don’t plan on getting sicker, but I can only do so much. What I do know is that I am getting less and less patient with the petty little problems that people (me included) waste their time and energy on. Complaining about their situation, their cards that they were dealt, the place they live, the way a friend treats them. Here’s the point. YOU can CHANGE anything YOU want.
The new rip in my jeans doesn’t deserve anger, it deserves to be fixed, or patched or perhaps to make some styling seventies jean shorts out of them. People who complain about their weight while eating a sticky bun should stop and look in a mirror. Put it all in perspective. I remember being crushed in high school by a girl who broke my heart, devastated in fact. I was trying to remember her name the other day…. perspective. How much time did I waste being upset? Yes, I know that at the time it was important but that’s because I was unable to put it in perspective!
My daughter was sick last night, she was coughing and hacking. At 2 am she began to cry because she just wanted to fall asleep. I started to get a little frustrated, thinking ‘come on just take a drink of the water I gave you suck it up’... then I thought of it from her perspective. So I got up, talked to her, wiped the tears away, fluffed up her pillow and went to the 24 hours drug store. I purchased some couch medicine and returned to give her a tablespoon of the cherry flavoured concoction… within 30 minutes she was asleep. Thankful, I did my job, I’m her dad. Nothing else matters.
I sat in my bed at 4 am, thinking of Gord and saying good bye. I thought of my life and my kids. I think I need to keep working on putting things in perspective. I need to focus on what’s truly important.
Today could be the day that it all changes. For you as well…
Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing on Mar 2, 2009 at 1:34 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (15)
Comment posted on Mar 2, 2009 at 3:47 pm by jessome (YLCC Member)
Stu,
This is far and above the most influential blog I think you’ve ever written. I’ve wondered about Gord form time to time, and was excited to read about his visit, but equally saddened to learn the news you’ve shared.
It’s interesting, really, how perspective never really seems to be an issue until someone close falls ill, then suddenly, nothing in my life seems important in comparison. It spells things out loud and clear in front of me though. I normally write long comments and share my two cents and then some, but today, I think I’ll leave it at this, and go appreciate some of the blessings around me.
Thanks for sharing such a difficult story, Stu.
Jessome
Comment posted on Mar 2, 2009 at 4:46 pm by Pamlamb (YLCC Member)
WOW Stu…WOW!
Perspective seems to be the name of the game these past couple of weeks, and it has been harder and harder to find it…but really what I am dealing with is so petty and not worth my time, yet I seem to let the little annoyances and set backs take over.
It is sad to hear about Gord, but I am glad that he still has a smile on his face, and laughter to share. It is quite remarkable how Gord, Laura, and you continue to push onwards motivating others, and being there for others, despite the obstacles of illness trying to set you back!
I am glad that YLCC was able to be a part of Gord’s life, and that we are able to be a part of his.
Thanks for the click back to reality Stu, thanks for sharing this story.
PamLamb
Comment posted on Mar 2, 2009 at 7:25 pm by Aaroneous (YLCC Member)
be. in the moment right? that has stuck with me from your tea blog. I know phil D uses that word quqite a bit too, its turned into quite the mantra for me.
Jessome i agree, this is a hard blog to respond do - i get it - i believe it and i will live it.
holy smokes. thank you Stu. for sharing such personal information.
aaron
Comment posted on Mar 2, 2009 at 9:11 pm by Christian Gilroy (YLCC Member)
I agree with jessome, this is quite the powerful blog entry.
Thank you Stu.
Comment posted on Mar 2, 2009 at 11:34 pm by PhillyD (YLCC Member)
Thanks Jackson. Tears are flowing and I didn’t know Gord that well. The tears needed to be released.
PD.
Comment posted on Mar 3, 2009 at 1:22 am by Erin Grittani (YLCC Member)
SS.
I am sitting at your dining room table right now in tears, waiting for you to come home from an evening of enjoying life and friends. Never have I ever been so moved by anything that you have ever written- and you often move me to think about my life. Today, you have moved me to think about so much more. <3
EG
Comment posted on Mar 3, 2009 at 2:48 am by Vienna (YLCC Member)
tears in my eyes reading this, tears in my eyes reading Ornj’s sandcastle, and tears in my eyes reading Ange’s sandcastle.
The feeling of awe I have recieved right now from simply reading about such a wonderful man is inspiring.
Through your words I can feel the warmth and yet sadness that floats around camp right now.
my arms and heart reach out to you all
Comment posted on Mar 3, 2009 at 11:43 am by Stacey Wells (YLCC Member)
This is amazing Stu!
I knew Gord, but I never knew him that well. Yet like many others have said, tears are in my eyes. It amazes me and inspires me to think that even though his life is coming to an end his smile still lives strong, and his heart will always be a part of YLCC.
Today, tomorrow and many more are going to be days of perspective.
Thankyou so much Stu
Comment posted on Mar 3, 2009 at 4:23 pm by Angela (YLCC Member)
I think that may just be the best blog you have ever written.
I know that we all of our own perspectives, our own worries and our own concerns.
Sometimes though it is not about the rip in the jean, but how you got it.
Too often we are torn by situations and circumstances, not by the outcomes.
That is when we start to deal, when the outcome is handed to us.
Everyday I need to reassess what is important. Gord helped me see that
It is a lesson I will continue to relearn everyday.
Much love
A
Comment posted on Mar 4, 2009 at 1:01 am by kaila (YLCC Member)
I feel like this is one I’ll read often, Stu.
While I did not get the pleasure of ever meeting Gord, I think the overflowing response to this blog and to Ange’s post speak enormously of his strength of character and charm. Your wisdom about perspective really struck a chord with me this morning, and again now as I read this a second time. My mom and I had a discussion about this blog at dinner tonight, and she agreed it was trumendously powerful.
Thanks for this one!