Youth Leadership Camps Canada

Stu-Pendous Blog - Learning and Growing

These are the thoughts of speaker, author and camp director Stu Saunders.
For Stu’s original blog, you may still access his archives here.

• The Duke of Aylmer

  Feb 3, 2012

  I have to be honest with you. Like right up front. I never wanted another dog. I had two others. Bailey and Dakota. They didn’t work out at all. They were aggressive and I wasn’t a good owner.

  So when it was suggested to me that I bring a new dog in my life, I was reluctant. Not openly, more to myself. In fact I just bit my tongue and went and saw the little of cute little Lab pups. Once there you can’t help but say, “Ahhhhhhhhhh”. They are cute, tiny, like little plush toys that interact with you. We picked one out, named it Duke, I wanted Tiberious, and began the adventure of owning another dog.

  There wasn’t a lot of time before the we became me and I was now the sole caretaker of the dog. At first I resented Duke. He tied you down, costed me hundreds and hundreds of dollars. In fact in the last two years including buying him I have spent close to 5000 dollars. Owning a dog seems cute and fun to most but it’s a huge commitment to the actual caretaker. It’s like a job or a relationship. Quite often they seem like an amazing idea or like they will be whimsical at the beginning, then when the reality of life slips in, there a lot of work. You can end a relationship, quit a job or a team. But I was stuck with Duke.

  As Duke and I grew older together we grew closer. We had our share of fights. He ate slippers, sandals and stuffed animals. He didn’t come when he was called… most times. He licked everyone to the point of discomfort earning him the nickname “Sir Licks-A-Lot” by my son.

  This fall I was at camp alone. First time in 8 years. Just me mostly. I started to walk everyday and I took Duke with me. We would do 5k or 8k every day. It was great because I lost over 20 pounds. It gave me a chance to be alone with my thoughts. If there is one thing I miss about living at camp it is the beauty of walking along the lake and the quiet of the Moon Point Beach Dr. I talked to the Universe every day and would often look down at Duke as cars past by. It looked like I was talking to him rather than to myself. I think he listened to me though. As we walked along he would look up at me with those big eyes and if I stopped he had an expression of “Go, on….”

  We became close. He was my friend. My confidant. My partner. When I moved to Aylmer (in the GLA) I made sure that my new home had a BIG back yard. I wanted Duke to be able to just go out. He loves it. He is happy.

  This past week, I had a very long, sad and sometimes angry time. I was down and Duke knew it. He would come to me and rest his head on my knee and sigh. I would pet him and he would lick my hand, just once. Like a way of hugging me or kissing me on the forehead to say, “It’s going to be ok.”

  He won’t leave my side now. We talk at length and he knows more about me then most people. Last night I was sitting in my living room with a new friend and he kept putting his paws on me. Resting it like he was wanting to hold me. This usually means he wants to go out or have dinner. I got up and walked to the back door and he stopped.  He didn’t want to go out. He looked at me and started to walk back to the living room. We sat back down and he placed his paw again on my knee then his head and let out a deep sigh. He just wanted to say he loved me. That we are a team. He wasn’t going to leave me.

  We went out for a long walk to clear my head and get us both some exercise. As we walked down the main street of town a nice older couple stopped me and said, “He’s beautiful! What’s his name?”

  I said smiled and said “This is Duke.” They pet him, he of course gave them a lick.

  I am finally settling into this little town. I am finally excepting my new adventure and my solitude. As I walked away from that couple I looked down at him and said “Yes you are beautiful dog, you are a Duke, the Duke of Aylmer.”

  I had been looking for something or someone to cheer me up or come in or come back into my life. The whole time I forgot that I had the best friend I could ask for.

  Thanks Universe for reminding me and thank you for Duke.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Family Life Learning and Growing on Feb 3, 2012 at 6:07 am | Permanent Link | Comments (6)

• The GOAL is

  Jan 31, 2012

  I love setting goals, I don’t always complete them. Sometimes I completely fail. Sometimes I simply write them down and forget about them. The shocking thing is that MOST people do nothing at all, in fact in a Harvard study of their graduates, only three percent of the graduates had written goals and plans; 13 percent had goals, but they were not in writing; and a whopping 84 percent had no specific goals at all. This is Harvard, not some community college like I went to. This is supposed to be the best and the brightest.

  I really love that goals, if you choose, can motivate you to do more than you ever expected. I am currently writing a new book called, “I’m Not With the Herd”, it’s a book about the 2% (or less) of the planet that out-perform the rest of the 98%. It’s not because they are blessed with any super human powers or strength. Yes there are those of us that may be a bit quicker with numbers or more agile with a basketball or hockey stick in their hands. Please know they aren’t better as a person then you or I.

  Here’s an amazing thought to chew on; there are no extra people on the planet! Everyone is supposed to be here. Why? I don’t know. I know that you are though and so am I. So, why not set goals to do BE, DO and HAVE the life you want. You can create an amazing life. Why do you have to do the same thing every day for 365 and call it a year and then do that for 60 or 70 years and call it a life.

  I had a great friend visit last night and I hadn’t seen her in about 3 years. We shared a drink and got on the topic of why marriages don’t work. How most of our friends are either divorced, separated or hating their long term relationships. I think it’s because when you get married you fall into the trap of doing the same thing year after year. You don’t want to do it. You never plan on it happening. There aren’t many people that get married saying, “this will suck in a few years” or start a job and say, “I will hate this in 6 months”. It happens because once you “settle”, most of us stop. We forget the joy we had when it started. When you start most things they are always awesome. The goals are set every day. Sometimes without even trying! It’s exciting to do all the firsts. Same as a job or when you volunteer for a club or cause. It’s the thrill of the pursuit, the build up to the program or the creation of the cause.

  I had a chat with someone over the holiday’s and they proclaimed that the organization they volunteered for didn’t appreciate them enough, didn’t recognize them enough or properly. Who cares, that’s not what it’s about. It’s about doing something for bigger reason than ourselves. It should be the goal we set when we joined. We should set our goals in life, relationships, jobs and community service every day. Once you stop you join the herd.

  I am writing new lists tomorrow for February. I am also righting a few OUTRAGEOUS goals for myself to. Things I want to accomplish before I am 50. They are awesome. They are grand and that’s the best part. I realized I have already accomplished a ton but I want to do so much more. I have had the opportunity to bring other along with me and my goal 20 years ago has changed so many lives. The ripple effect of a little goal setting about 20 years ago this month created many new lives now.

  The goal, I think, is to be more by challenging yourself to do, be and have more. Write a list of goals today. Set three to accomplish in the next 30 days. It may not only change your world but many more for years to come. Some people you haven’t even met yet!

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Goal Setting Learning and Growing Motivation on Jan 31, 2012 at 11:04 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (5)

• What’s in a day

  Jan 30, 2012

  I am writing this to talk about a day. One day. Today, tomorrow, next thursday, March 11th and December 6th.

  Any day, not yesterday, The day now and the day coming up. It’s really amazing. What happens in a day. Your day.

  Today, 378,000 iPhones will be sold and 371,000 babies will be born. Today, 21,000 children will die and 121 (in the US) people will die in a car accident. In the next 24 hours there will 115,000 marriages and about 50,000 divorces filed. On this day 1500 people will die of cancer in the US alone and over 38 million dollars is spent on coffee which is more than five times what is spent on researching cures for disease.

  Lots happens every day. Today someone will come home and find out they are dying at the same second another will find out they are pregnant. There are some today that will meet someone that will change their loves forever and some you will say goodbye to for the last time.

  Today you will make a choice to act or a choice to wait. Those choices will have good and bad effects on your future. This day may be the first of many or the beginning of the end.

  How do you spend a day? Do you watch TV or do you read a book? Do you kiss someone goodnight or do you tell someone off and slam the door? Will you spend time with your children, ask about their day and share yours or will you put them to bed during a commercial break? Today may be a first or it may be a last. It could be something you create or something you let go of.

  Each day however is a gift. It’s also for some a curse. One more day with pain or anguish. A day wondering if a child will live or die. Today someone will propose and someone will disappear. Today is amazing. Today is terrifying.

  What it should never be though is taken for granted. Nor should the people in it. May the ripple you create today wash over those in your life like a warm current. May you take a moment and stop. Breathe to yourself and say thank you. This is your chance to be amazed and be amazing. To play, to run, to walk, to help, to cry, to embrace, to lead, to learn, to change, to sit or to stand.

  On this day, live. Fully. Completely. With passion, forgiveness, care and carefree abandonment. Be the you that you can be. Thank who you should thanked and say sorry to who you need to. Apologize, forgive, hold and be. Here. Now.

  Death is right there. So is the beginning of Life… on this day.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Learning and Growing Motivation on Jan 30, 2012 at 5:22 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (5)

• If you are lucky…

  Jan 28, 2012

  If you are lucky, you will meet someone special. I am not talking about a life partner. I mean that would be nice. Although, I think Life Partner is a daunting title. I mean to say you will have a partner for life is truly a long time. Most relationships (romantic ones) end eventually. It is sad and never intended but it happens. In fact in Canada the divorce and separation rate is closing in 60%. The average marriage last about 14.5 years (Stats Can).

  This isn’t what this blog is about though. I am talking about someone special. Someone who really loves you. Not in an intimate way. Most people consider relationships to be dating and then marriage. I mean friendship. Real hard core friendship. Over the last few days as I struggled with the reminder of loss and tragedy I found I had a few really good friends. People that were here for me and were willing to forget what ever it was they were doing to listen and help. Better yet, make me laugh and challenge me to think.

  Today, my dearest and most cherished friend proved to me that she was just that. She had just flown back less then 24 hours ago from a remote country (19 hour flight) and had no sleep. She braved a mini winter storm and showed up on my door way to hug me. To talk, to listen, to tell me stories of her adventures in a far off land, to talk about social issues, love, loss and we debated what everything really means. We laughed, we both talked and we both listened.

  There was no expectations. It wasn’t about talking endlessly about loss, lost loves or lost lives. It was about celebrating this moment right now. With us.

  She left, but before she did we hugged for a long time. We didn’t say anything at all. Then we broke our embrace and she said, “I love you Stu, you ARE awesome.”

  Partners come and go. Some stay as friends some disappear as ex’s. If you’re lucky they will stay part of your life and you will celebrate together. But, if you’re really lucky you will find a friend that makes you feel like the world is on your side and you are beautiful or handsome, smart, amazing and valuable. I am blessed by her. I am also blessed that in one conversation my entire perspective changed, my energy shifted and I became wiser. Much wiser.

  Take an inventory of your relationships. If they aren’t helping you grow, it may be time to weed the garden.

  “You are who you have coffee with.” - Robin Sharma

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing on Jan 28, 2012 at 3:30 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

• Untying the knot

  Jan 9, 2012

  I remember going through the buildings at our Pigeon Lake camp the first time we actually owned it. I remember seeing so much junk in every building. We ended up throwing out over 30 tons of “stuff”. Yes, over 30 tons. Although, amongst that junk there was something that really struck me when I entered Cabin 17, one of our larger cabins. It was an old plastic sign made to look like wood. It had a monkey holding onto a vine with a determined look on his face. There was a quote underneath that said, “When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” It made me laugh. I thought I really agree with that mantra. In fact it was perfect for that moment. We had bought Pigeon Lake as a back up plan because we thought we were going to lose the Orillia (Lake Simcoe) camp. This new camp was kind of like the knot and we were holding on for dear life.

  I can tell you that I have lived by that saying throughout my adult life. Since I was 21 and started speaking and created the camps there have been a hundred knots I have tied and held on for dear life. Sometimes, despite my best grip, I slip off the rope and fall. It hurts sometimes really bad. I would even say it stings. The key of course is to find a new rope and start climbing again.

  But what if you untie the knot and jump off? You intentionally let go of the rope. You might say that goes against everything I teach and the exact story of our success. That’s true and it’s false. Here’s where maturity and experience come in. Sometimes in life you have to recognize when the knot needs to be untied. Even if we want something really bad or believe in an idea or want someone so much it hurts. There are signs the Universe will give you. Signs that say look again, try again and begin again. It’s the ability to have the wisdom to know the difference that matters most. Untying the knot doesn’t mean you fail, it means you know you need to move forward.

  I remember a program I had created to help transition students into high school. I really believed in it. People doubted me and told me why it would fail. I believed in the potential so much that I stuck with it. Ignoring the comments and the reality of how poorly it was going. In the end the rope broke, I fell and I fell hard. We lost over $80,000 and I was terrified I would get the “I told you so’s”. I thought for sure it was going to work. The students that went through the program loved it. I just needed to hold on! Right? Tie another knot!

  In the end when the dust settled we were still in business and what was most important we learned. We learned what we were good at. We also found a new rope and began climbing again. The Universe (friends, colleagues, family and even strangers) wants you to succeed. Don’t live your life to prove people wrong, live your life to prove yourself right. If that means untying the knot, so be it. Learn. Grow. There are lots of ropes to climb.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Learning and Growing Motivation on Jan 9, 2012 at 10:45 am | Permanent Link | Comments (9)

• I have less than a year to live

  Jan 2, 2012

  I have less than a year to live.

  Shocking statement isn’t it. If you are to believe a large amount of people that statement is true. Books have been written about it and a really bad movie made over 200 million dollars promoting the idea. Many believe that the world will end this December 21st on the Winter Solstice. This is a Mayan prophecy. It has also been said it’s not the end just the beginning of a new shift in the Universe. Still others have said the date has been misread and it won’t happen until the following year in 2013. Who really knows?

  Bottom line is, if it were true what would you do? Would you be proud of the life you have lived to date? Have you contributed to the world in a positive way? What have you accomplished and what have you put off?

  Perhaps a good idea would be to pretend that this is it. Your last year. If you knew for sure wouldn’t you live your days differently? If you can say no then good for you! If not, why not start to carve out a year you could be proud of. Look at how you spend your time. Who you surround yourself with and how you fill your soul. Do you read the great works and the biographies of amazing people or do fill your head with pages of gossip rags? Are you wishing you were living someone else’s life or are you creating a life you will be proud of?

  If this was the end, perhaps you should make this year a great start!

  “To make an end is to make a beginning.” - T.S. Eliot

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Goal Setting Family Life Learning and Growing Motivation on Jan 2, 2012 at 9:20 am | Permanent Link | Comments (2)

• The POWER of START

  Dec 28, 2011

  You just gotta shake it.

  I remember years ago I did the Tony Robbins personal power program. 30 days to a new life. It’s a lot of common sense stuff.

  One of the things that I remember is the idea of shifting yourself when you are tired, down or sad.

  If you just do the simple action of getting up, going for a walk, have a little stretch, making a call to a friend that you know is upbeat, writing in a journal, making your bed, starting a new book or making a cup of tea. These very, very simple actions can change your entire mood and direction.

  I always have said “I believe you can change your life in an instant.” This really is true and it does work.

  I was feeling down yesterday, we all feel down and that’s ok. It’s important to look at why your down. Is it something you’re avoiding, something you don’t want to deal with, is it winter blues or are you just riding the bitter bus? Sometimes it’s a BIG thing and sometimes it’s just you need some fresh air and sunshine, a long strong hug or a good healthy meal!

  Whatever it is don’t avoid it, embrace it and make a simple 1% action step to change. The journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step!

  I have to make a tea and you just need to START!

  Happy New Year!

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Goal Setting Leadership Learning and Growing Motivation on Dec 28, 2011 at 11:21 am | Permanent Link | Comments (4)

• Fail UP

  Dec 19, 2011

  Woke up this morning and got inspired! How? Reading. I love reading, I do NOT do it enough. But man do I love it. This morning I came across a quote that really struck me.

  If you want to learn about success, talk to a successful person. If you want to learn about failure, talk to a very successful person.

  Wow, that really is true. I was watching a video last night by Robin Sharma. It was an interview he did for Studio 4. The interviewer, Fanny Kiefer, mentioned that people need to understand that it’s ok to fail as long as they fail up. What an awesome idea when you stop and think about it. Too often we commit to something, know it’s not working and are scared to let it go, to fail. Many of us won’t try at all for the fear of failure. This is a BIG reason many of us go nowhere or develop as humans very slowly. We need to shake that. It’s OK to fail, to let something go, to be a failure. As long as we don’t stop where we fail.

  We just need to fail UP. This is a simple concept that teaches us that as long as we grow and learn from our mistakes we get better. If we move forward or “up” then we are not failing at all. We are simply growing.

  I could tell you about a hundred failures I have had in business, friendships, relationships and schooling. I’m ok with all of them. I wouldn’t trade one of them. I love to get better. I am not afraid to say I am sorry or “I admit I made a mistake.”. These words don’t scare me anymore. The older I get the more I realize I have lots to learn! I am excited about that growth. To let go of the past and learn from it. Sometimes failing hurts, but like building muscle we have to feel the pain of the growth for it to show.

  “You learn more from falling flat on your face than you ever will in school.”  Billy Joel

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Learning and Growing Motivation on Dec 19, 2011 at 12:15 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

• Jiffy Change

  Dec 18, 2011

  I have been in the business of making peoples lives better for a VERY long time. More than 20 years. I am not saying that I am life-changer, I’m simply saying that the career in which I have chosen is one of change and development. Over the years I have worked with about 13,000 campers, about a 1000 or so staff and about 2,000,000 (two million) students and teachers. This is an awesome number when you stop and think about it. As I reflect on my year, I am once again humbled and honoured to be part of so many peoples lives.

  One of the things that has really stuck the last few years is the idea of manageable life change. We are always being told that we should set goals. Some say make them realistic, some say make them huge and audacious! Still others say goals are just instruments to remind us that we are failing or that we are not where we should be. I strongly disagree with the latter.

  I was reading an article many years ago about forming habits. How people need to create positive habits and get rid of negative ones. Then it hit me, aren’t habits just goals accomplished and now part of our daily lives? I mean if you want to get in shape you make a goal, then you start to create a plan to work out and eat right. That leads to a daily routine to reach that goal of new muscle or a new waist size. After you reach the goal most of us become hooked on the new healthy diet and/or the rush you get from exercising. You continue to do it long after the goal has been reached. Therefore the new lifestyle is now a life habit.

  With this in mind I developed the 22 Day Challenge. A series of small daily repetitive changes you can put into your life. There are many “experts” that say new habits take 21 days to form. Therefore the 22nd day instills that habit into your sub-concious, you just start needing to do it. There are those that say 40 days is the magic number. It doesn’t really matter, I believe that 21 days is a very real and manageable number. Three weeks of commitment.

  I do these all the time. I do them to help myself be better. To be a better dad, friend, partner, boss, camp director and speaker. I have taught this at camp and many staff have successfully completed 22 days of change in their lives. Some have even kept the habits going many months or years later. That’s the idea. It’s NOT about giving something up, it’s about starting something fresh. Many people participate in a religious practice of giving something up for a period of time, then when that time is over they go right back to doing what they gave up. Never understood that. To me that seems like a counter-productive practice.

  So, with all this in mind, I am inviting anyone to who is interested to join the 22 Days of Change program on Facebook. We will be a starting as a group on January 2nd, 2012. (never start anything new on January 1st). If you are interested please click on 22 Days of Change and “like” the page. Then, the key is to actually follow along and participate in the challenge. Please don’t just “like” it and then never check back. You are missing the point! I hope that you, along with me, will commit to 22 days of change. It can, if you choose, change your life forever.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Goal Setting Leadership Learning and Growing Motivation on Dec 18, 2011 at 4:19 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

• The Yo-YO

  Dec 16, 2011

  This summer I took my family to a beautiful cottage in Northern Quebec. We were right on the lake, the view was breath taking. I figured we would swim, play games, do a little boating maybe explore the area through a few hikes. We did do all this, but it wasn’t the highlight for my 11 year old son.

  On the second day I went into the small town and picked him up a Yo-Yo. It’s a toy developed more then 400 years ago. Hasn’t really changed in 4 centuries. Well, for Matthew, that was it. He didn’t stop working on it, making up tricks and best of all putting on shows synchronized to music. It was one of the high points for all of us. Every day there was something new to see!

  I found the Yo-Yo the other day and it it made me think, aren’t our lives a lot like Yo-Yo’s. I mean there are ups and downs and sometimes we have to do tricks to get through. At first glance we all think that playing with a Yo-Yo is easy. I mean it looks that way… from a distance. The reality is, it’s pretty difficult. Especially to truly master it. Here’s the thing, sometimes you flick the toy down and it get’s stuck, it won’t come back up. You may try and spin it back but it just sits there, staring at you. almost laughing. You think “I can’t even make a silly toy come back to me. Many of us will put it down and walk away. Call it a dumb toy or say “I can’t do it” and chalk it up to a waste of time. It’s like the problems and challenges we face in life. When we get hit with a down cycle many of us just walk away and give up, or what’s worse we slip into anger and depression.

  Then there others who will pick the yo-yo back up and re-wrap the string and try again. A successful and happy life is about picking the yo-yo back up and re-wrapping the string. Trying again. There are some tricks like “walking the dog” that are easy and some like “the bell tower” that are really hard. You may not master them all. That’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up. You need to try, sometimes you will get really good at some and other times you just need to forget the ones that frustrate you (friends, habits, relationships, negative people) and try something new. You have to understand that sometimes “things” may look easy and when you try them they ARE hard or not for you. That’s cool. That’s part of the learning process. It doesn’t mean you or your life should be considered a failure.

  Understand this, the Yo-Yo wants you to play with it. It wants to be flipped through the air, spun fast and held in the palm of your hand. Equally, life wants you to succeed. Life though, needs as much practice as the Yo-Yo. There are only a few Yo-Yo masters out there. They can’t do all the tricks but they can do a few really, really well. It wasn’t a quick thing, it took time and tons of failures. Treat life like that. Don’t give up, try! Make sure though you have the wisdom to know when to try the next trick.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing Motivation on Dec 16, 2011 at 1:17 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (0)

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