Youth Leadership Camps Canada

Stu-Pendous Blog - Leadership

These are the thoughts of speaker, author and camp director Stu Saunders.
For Stu’s original blog, you may still access his archives here.

• Living the dream

  Jul 16, 2010

  I know I haven’t written a BLOG in a LONG time. I have been busy. I have been on vacation. Been spending time at the beach, going for runs, lazing around in Muskoka chairs, went for a couple of nature hikes, did a little rock climbing, spent a lot of time reflecting and reading, enjoyed a few spins on the speed boat, had some gourmet food prepared by my own amazing chef and I am currently bustin’ a move at the Disco!

  It has been an amazing few weeks. The good news is that I am on vacation for the next 6 weeks!! I know what you are wondering, how? How do I do this, how do I afford it? Truth is, it’s all free. In fact I get paid to do it. Honestly. No, I don’t work on a cruise line or some expensive five star resort.

  I own a summer camp. I have for 18 years. I am blessed by whomever you want to name. I am blessed by the ability to truly live out my dreams! Years ago a YMCA camp counsellor I said to who would ever listen that I want to own my own camp one day… and PRESTO, I do. Now, I would like you to believe that it was just that easy, but it wasn’t. It took a lot of time, hard work and patience. 

  The hardest parts of this whole journey has been one, making the actual decision to start the camp and two, believing in my dream SO much that when everyone else around me told me that we should not expand, not move and not even keep doing the camp, I said no. The only two true passions I have in my life are my kids and growing YLCC (YouthLeadership Camps Canada, that’s my camp).

  There were a plethora of exits provided to me on silver plater. There were lots of “reasons” I could of folded up the tents and no one would have thought any less of me. Except one person… me. I would forever know that I quit, that I gave up.

  My job, my career is my vacation. There are tough times and as we grow tougher choices I am faced with. That’s ok, even the most perfect vacation can have rainy days. You just have to make a new plan, adjust your sails and regroup. I guess my challenge to anyone is to find that ONE thing that you believe in SO much that you will do anything to make it a reality. Maybe it’s a new business, a family, making the team, graduating with honours, writing that book or owning your own camp one day.

  The only thing you have to remember is that you need to work hard, don’t give up, believe in you and ignore the critics.

  I’m off to a much deserved rest. Goodnight and dream deeply!

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Jul 16, 2010 at 12:04 am | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

• To bend the universe

  Jun 7, 2010

  What I am about to write may seem strange. Perhaps laughable. These next few paragraphs will I’m sure make you question my sanity. You may even turn to a person and shake your head and comment to them, “This guys nuts”.

  So if you don’t want to hear what I have to say then please, visit somewhere else on this information super highway called the Internet.

  I control the universe. The universe does not control me. I have the ability to bend my reality which ever way I chose. If I ask for it, it will mostly like come my way, not always right away, but it will come. Cool, huh?

  That’s the secret. No, not the cheesy book that was being peddled a few years ago on the Oprah show.  Don’t get me wrong Winfrey fans, the book at the core has a good message, the law of attraction. It’s true, it works. The problem is that it was set up to read more like a lazy mans universal shopping list. Just ask and it will come. Of course everyone that night said, “give me a car” or “I want to win the lottery”. It didn’t work. That’s not how the universe roles. It is s give and take thing. You have to give more then you take. If you do you will receive more then you could imagine.

  The other night I challenged the universe to show itself and to prove the connection that I believe we share. As I ran later then usual, breathing in the fresh night air, celebrating the legs that carry me down the safe street I live on. I was startled by the flash of a firefly millimeters from my right eye. It almost seemed to be showing off. Dancing against the night sky, darting back and forth like a child discovering the wonders of a sparkler for the first time. Back and forth it shot. I didn’t try and shoo it away. I looked at it, I could see the translucent underside of its abdomen. It was like a million mirrors reflecting back the light or the magic.

  I stopped in my tracks and looked at it. It hovered in front of me, shifting from the right to the left. I said, “hello”. It stopped in it’s place zipped around my head and gave one more brilliant flash of light and was gone into the bush by the roadside.

  I looked up at the night sky at the millions of stars and back to the long, dark road ahead of me. I was alone. No noise except the hum of a car in the distance and sound of a breeze through the trees. I felt like I had been touched, connected in a new way.

  I decided to put it out there.

  “Universe, I am watching your magic and I am aware.

  If you are listening show yourself. Let me see you are listening.”

  Suddenly a half dozen brilliant lights sparkled in front of me and shot to the same bush my friend from earlier had disappeared to.

  “Really show me universe. Show me you’re really there, that we are connected.”

  Then out of nowhere like a scene from Avatar, there were hundreds within 2 meters of me. Sparkling like a newly decorated home at Christmas. “Show me!” I yelled out. They blinked brighter and were joined by more. My eyes began to fill with emotion, goose bumps covered my skin, my heart raced faster.

  “Thank you…” was all I could muster. Then as fast they appeared, they were gone. Just a few were left to flutter and flicker away into the forest.

  I was alone again, but only in the literal sense. I realized that I wasn’t alone at all. The universe was beside me. Then and now and tomorrow.

  I can communicate with the universe. It listens to me, it works for me. It only needed me to take off the blinders of the filing system we (society) has developed. You are this, you come from here, you make this much, this your god, this is my god, I’m right, you’re wrong, I live for Friday, I count days till I’m “done”, I will do it when it’s more acceptable to… “them”, parents, teachers, society, community, preachers, friends, genre or class.

  Then the naked mole said “but why not?”. That’s right. You can control the universe too, this is not exclusive to me. The key is that’s it is not a secret at all. It, the universe, is waiting to show you. Ask, just ask. Speak out loud, don’t be afraid. It’s not a shopping spree awarded by the local hit music station though and it’s not magic. You will need to give to get, thank others for everything, believe and of course have patience. The universe is listening… Right now…

  Blink, blink, blink, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzip! Gone. 

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Jun 7, 2010 at 8:48 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (5)

• Really? Really? No? Really?

  May 31, 2010

  I wander down the street, enjoying the sunshine, my soul is warmed by the sun and the full day that was ahead of me. I wait in line for a tea at the local fair trade coffee shop. I stand behind a woman in her late twenties. She turned to her friend and said “This weather sucks, so frickin’ hot. I hate it, I really hate it.”

  This actually made me say out loud, “Really? Really? No? Really?”

  She turns and glares, I look at the price on a bag of coffee and point, smile.

  Behind me a couple of teenage brothers are very grumpy busy complaining that their parents wouldn’t buy them the new iPod’s. This made them very upset.

  “Mom is such a B!&CH! I asked her like three times, I even took out the garbage today. Man I hate her!”

  Again, I repeat (this time in my head), “Really? Really? No? Really?”

  Hey whiners, STOP! Most people in this country have NO idea the beautiful life they have been given. I once, complained to a friend about not getting what I want, I was depressed. Feeling empty. She simply smiled and said two of the most important words that I remind myself of every single day. Those words, find joy.

  If you think it’s bad please move to Afghanistan. Otherwise, enjoy your clean drinking water, you freedom to travel, the sounds of birds and not bombs, the freedom to dress with as little clothing as you want, to shop in grocery stores full of fresh foods, to walk into a public library and READ, to vote freely, to own an iPod, iPad to have eyes. To simply be whom you want to be. This idea has been repeating itself over and over again in my head for months.

  In the winter it’s to cold, the summer to hot, the spring to wet, the fall sucks because the winter is coming. Our jobs are unfulfilling, our parents are unfair, our teachers are mean, adults “don’t get it!” Young people just waste it. We spend our youth wanting to be older and our adulthood wishing we had done more when we were young. This is a never ending cycle. It’s human nature right? Just the way people are. Never quite having enough. The internet connection is not fast enough and there is nothing on TV.

  Here is the idea that I wish we could all embrace. Find joy, move forward, learn from our lessons, celebrate our freedom, help someone in need and laugh often. Care, listen, love and say thank you. Find Joy, find peace, find beauty. Embrace what’s right. Be STUpendous. Don’t get caught up in extremes. Don’t judge. Be you, be fair. There are no extra people on the planet. You matter, you can count, you really do count, be happy that you learned to count. Life is hard, life is equally sweet, life is a choice. You are who you spend time with. The past is gone, the future is unknown and today is a gift that’s why it’s called the present. Be the change, be the example, be, simply be.

  In the end you will succeed if you choose. Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it.

  Breathe, dream, find joy.

  Yes, it’s really, really just that simple. Really.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on May 31, 2010 at 9:14 am | Permanent Link | Comments (4)

• McHappy Life

  May 9, 2010

  Simple isn’t it. Life, I mean. It is the the one thing we all have to participate in it. I guess we could choose not to if we want, but then what’s the point. We all are given the same opportunity to lead a good life. Yes, no doubt that where you are born, the country, the economics and the time you are born all have significant impact on how you will live from day to day. But, the chance to choose to live fully is given to everyone.

  There are the stories of people in every corner of the world that have been born into war, mediocrity, poverty and hunger yet still live extraordinary lives. Nelson Mandela, Oprah Winfrey, Terry Fox, Richard Branson and my mom are all great examples of people that have lived well despite the hardships presented to them.

  My mother during the second world war witnessed and survived the Blitz full on. She was shipped to the country side of England, separated from her mother, father and brothers. When the war was over and she returned to London the front of her home was gone. She could stand on the street and look at her home resembling more of a doll house then the family home she left. Most of the walls missing, destroyed by German bombs. She would live that way for more then a year, no washroom, shower or privacy. Today, she is a proud home owner and she is actively living each day.

  Why is it we complain, whine and bitch about everything. We are SO lucky to live when we do and how we do. We are responsible for our own happiness. It’s now always easy. Unlike a McHappy meal we just can’t order joy. We need to make decisions that will help facilitate our own happiness. If you aren’t happy, then make the change. When you know what will change you from a negative attitude to a positive one, do it.

  I too need to make a constant effort every day to make sure I am setting myself up for success. I need to put out what I want back. I need to attract the uninhibited joy into my life. This is my choice and it’s your choice. Make it. Stop complaining and start celebrating!

  “To attract something that you want, become as joyful as you think that thing would make you. The joy, not the thing, is the point.”  - Martha Beck

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on May 9, 2010 at 6:19 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (1)

• A full life

  Mar 14, 2010

  This may seem arrogant. You may call me pompous or full of myself. I’m not though. I swear. I am sitting on the most comfortable couch, with the most relaxing music playing while absorbing the smell of the burning cedar and sound of the crackling fire. I am incredibly rich and successful, but not in dollars and cents.

  The fall of ninth grade I was confronted by 5 members of the football team. They told me they wanted to show me something. I was then tackled, forced into a small, cannonball like position and bound using masking and duct tape and made into a human tape ball. They then rolled me into a storage closet and I was left there until the custodians found me many hours later. I hated myself, I wanted to run away, to die. How could I be such a loser that it would become the goal of 5 senior high school students to humiliate me to the point of tears.

  As I lied in the closet, hearing the laughing of students and the bells ringing for class changes, I was helpless. I was truly alone. I was was unable to do anything to change my situation. At that moment I felt as if I would never amount to anything in my life. I was not much more then heap of useless crap. I am nothing.

  I awake some mornings and walk from my front door, wander through the woods and make my way to the beach. The sun rises over the water. I climb into a kayak and paddle my way through the placid water to make my way to the middle of the lake. I see the warm sun rays cut through the morning mist wafting up from the water. The morning air fills my lungs. I close my eyes and smile to myself. This is mine. My life is blessed. I am more, I have more, I do more then most.

  I stood at the back of the gymnasium door, nervous. I was in grade 11. In a few moments I would be called upon to stand in front of 1400 of my fellow school mates. This moment was a double edged sword. Half of me, so passionate about what I believed in, half of me fully aware I would be laughed at, heckled, pointed at and ridiculed. The call comes, I walked out to centre of the floor. Their laughter was clear, piercing. The chants of fag, loser and geek shoot directly to the core of my soul. At that moment, I feel as if my life will never be much, I will never date the popular girl, never have the group of friends that laugh together in the coffee shop. I will, for some reason, fail.

  Standing on the stage I finish my speech.I am 39. I feel good. The audience is clapping, cheering and smiling. I acknowledge their acceptance, their emotion, their positive affirmations. As I say thank you, they rise to their feet. A standing ovation. I am a success. I am making a difference. I will be remembered. I get more then I give.

  Today I am not alone. I open my wallet to see the shiny and warm faces of my children. I am their hero. I am loved by them. They are inspired.

  Today I embrace my best friend, the same one I have had for 20 years. He cried a little last night as I read the card he gave me for my birthday. True friendship.

  Today I got an email from a parent that said I changed their daughters life and in turn their families.

  Today I thank the universe for my life.

  Once I felt as if I was never going to be anything.

  Today I feel as if I could do, be or have anything.

  What will tomorrow hold? It will be better then today. Hard to believe, but it will.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Mar 14, 2010 at 9:33 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (12)

• A life defined

  Feb 27, 2010

  How you live your days defines your life.

  I am not sure where I read that quote. I am not sure if perhaps I strung it together myself. The point though, is not new. Each and every day of our lives we choose to live how we want. It’s true you may have restrictions from bosses, coaches, parents, financial means, geography or physical ability but no one controls our attitude.

  I once wrote a blog called the “Bitter Bus”, the point being so many of us live our days riding around as passengers on the bus of bitterness. We complain, whine, blame and make excuses. We exist rather then evolve. Each day is a chance to get better, to grow and to learn. Why not choose to be the star rather then the extra of your movie, your life, your day?

  Today I had trouble getting out of bed, putting on my winter gear and venturing out into the deep snow with my dog Duke. I struggle through the packed ice and with each step I labour to the next. I think to myself, “turn around”, no I can’t. After the first five minutes have been conquered I get stronger, I search for deeper snow, for challenge. I move to the lake and embrace the cutting wind as it strikes my face, burning it. I pick up my pace, high step through the snow drifts. My Lab and I throw the stick for a while. His enthusiasm is never changing. Heading around the point I find the path back to my home. I take the hills instead of the path. My dog breathes heavy, panting, whining a little but continues. When we arrive back to the house, I peal off the gear and my shirt is soaked with sweat. I feel as if I won, I am an Olympic athlete that has conquered my foe. That foe is me. I am the only one that decides how I live.

  Back on the couch, I pour my coffee, Duke is fast asleep on his bed. I open my Mac and begin to write. Already I feel as if I am winning.

  Today I will CHOOSE to live fully, to live deliberately, to define my day. There is no bitter bus, it does not exist.

  My life story is a result of my days. My mortality is my coach, reminding me that I must win, play hard and find a way. I am the star and not the extra, the passenger or the observer.

  Are you?

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Learning and Growing Motivation on Feb 27, 2010 at 10:38 am | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

• Something from nothing

  Feb 10, 2010

  One of my favourite children’s books of all time is by author Phoebe Gilman. Something from Nothing is a fable of a young Jewish family that is poor and doesn’t have much. Joseph, the young boy in the story, is given given a blanket that he loves and takes with him everywhere. It becomes tattered and torn and his grandfather makes it into a jacket, then a vest, then a tie, then a button. When he loses the button Grandpa believes that there’s nothing else he can make. Joseph disagrees… from the lost button comes a wonderful story.

  The story inspires me because everything in life comes from nothing more than an idea. You can trace everything back to one moment of brilliance, usually by one person or maybe just a couple. Think about it; Apple, Facebook, Microsoft, McDonald’s or public health care. It all came from NOTHING but an idea. It took someone to say why not? Instead of we can’t.

  I am sitting in a boardroom in a beautiful old church in Ancaster, Ontario. I am on the second floor looking down at a packed room full of camp displays. One of them is ours, YLCC. 2010 will mark our 18th summer. 18 years ago I sat in a make shift boardroom (my mom’s old dining room table) and said to a friend, “Why not?”. What started out as 50 kids for a weekend is now a camp that works with over 8000 youth a year!

  What is it that you want to do? Why can’t you do it? For every excuse you make there is a solution. For every solution there is a first step. True it’s easier to say it’s too hard, too expensive, too much competition, too many road blocks. The path of least resistance rarely takes you anywhere interesting. Find it, find your passion. What is it that drives you? What do you want to change in your life, your community, your (our) world. You know you have thought about it! You need to trust yourself.

  One small note of caution I want to put out there to all of my younger readers (anyone under the age of 75), the grass always seems greener on the other side. Sometimes it is, rarely though is it true. Make sure you learn all you can from where you are, as my friend Robin Sharma always says you can lead without a title where ever you are. When your ready though, create, create, create! Don’t be afraid to fail!! You might, lord knows (and anyone else who knows me) I have! That’s ok. You learn more from falling flat on your face than you will ever learn in school. Adversity should create new enthusiasm!

  So take a moment and truly think. Be honest. Perhaps the next BIG “thing” is whirling around up in your head. You too can create something from nothing! I believe in you.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Feb 10, 2010 at 9:05 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (2)

• Is it just me?

  Jan 27, 2010

  Is it just me that thinks that the world is a little messed up? Am I the only one that questions the country that says it’s Christian and then sells a bobble head Jesus for 19.99 with proceeds going to the Christian Corp of America? Is it just me that wonders why people believe that they need to put others down to bring themselves up? Is there anyone else that wonders how the world will change and hopefully understand the need to do that dramatic change, when the current generation thinks that a real tragedy is not getting the new iPhone or the car on Thursday night? I must be the only one that is thinking that proroguing the Canadian Parliament until after the Olympics is irrational. There can’t be anyone else who thinks that there is more money is “trying” to find a cure for Cancer, MS and Parkinson’s then actually curing anything, so why bother! Is there any reason why Microsoft Word corrects the spelling of Oprah and not Ghandi. Where is the logic in the American Cancer society raising $146 million (or so) in fundraising in 2009 and the citizens of North America spending 2.8 billion on hand sanitizer in 9 months. I must be the only one that is questioning this.

  Why are we so quick to think that what we see is what we get. Why is it that profit can be made off of fake Haiti fundraisers and it’s washed away in the news to celebrate Jennifer Aniston’s 5 year anniversary of being separated from Brad Pitt. Is there a reason we attach such weight to such gossipy drivel? Is there no one else questioning why hollywood actors band together to raise money for Haiti yet there are still tens of thousands in New Orleans that don’t have adequate housing? Wouldn’t it be a better headline that read “New Orleans wins battle against poverty, homelessness and hurricane devastation” than “New Orleans wins battle over Minnesota”? Why is that we have to wait for Haiti to be devastated before we realize they need help? Do you think Sierra Leone is praying for a tsunami so George Clooney can raise them 30 million dollars?

  Is it just me that thinks real leadership has to start by looking in the mirror, turning the channel and sweeping our own doorstep? Maybe it is. Maybe I am the only one. I hope I am not. We need to look at the BIG picture. Trust me it’s giant and I seem to be looking through a panoramic lenses. Of course, it could just be me.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Jan 27, 2010 at 9:23 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

• Mooooove over

  Jan 18, 2010

  I have been working on my idea of the “Herd Mentality”. This thought is that most humans move together in what they do and how they act based on the Herd, everyone else around them. I believe this to be true because I see it every day. Every where we go there are a plethora of examples.

  I was in Costco with my son a few weeks ago and it was packed, the parking lot was full and there were people roaming the isles with overstuffed shopping carts full of items that they really need in mass quantity. I mean who really doesn’t need 4, 2 litre jugs of olive oil?

  As we picked up the two items we came for we approached the check out area. It seemed like every line was 20 people deep. People were mumbling and grumbling. My son and I squeezed our way through the herd to the middle. There were three lines with only a couple of people in them. We were quickly at the cashier paying for our couple of items and were on the way.

  Matthew turned to me, (please keep in mind he’s 9) and said. “Why is everyone lined up in the long lines and not the short ones?”

  True wisdom from a child! You can’t deny the obvious question. Here’s the thing, it doesn’t take much of a shift for us to get ahead of the crowd. To move away from the herd. Once we did we were successful in getting out of Costco and on our way to much more fun then waiting in line for 30 minutes. If you apply that same idea to life you will find that it doesn’t have to a massive chage in thinking, your actions, your habits to take you to the next level.

  So next time you are feeling like you’re part of a herd trying MOOOOOOving to the left or right and see if you can’t free yourself up a little.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Jan 18, 2010 at 12:53 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (2)

• Moments that matter

  Jan 10, 2010

  Being a single father you realize how lucky you had it before the separation. I don’t mean the relationship I had with my partner but the access every day to my children. When you’re married you find lots to do that doesn’t involve spending time with the kids. You are busy, you have work to do, there is something “else” to do.

  “I’ll be there in a minute…” is a far to common phrase that resonates through too many households.

  I am granted access to my children for a total of 66 hours once every two weeks. When you take out sleeping, 26 hours and the drive 12 hours, I have the opportunity to spend 26 hours with my kids. That’s less then 3 days per month of “face time”.

  Somewhere over history our court system has deemed this an adequate amount of time to build and maintain a quality father, child relationship. Well I am here to say that it really isn’t. It’s actually completely the opposite. Since there is not much chance of this changing and parents being considered equal, fathers that do care need to create “MTM’s”, moments that matter.

  Running a camp I get to work with so many young staff that come from single parent homes. I’ve asked many of them about how they remember growing up with having to live with two parents. So many have said the times they spent with their father were so amazing, or they remember those time with such clarity.

  Why is that? It’s because a good single father needs to work to create so much in a very short time. It’s our job to create MTM’s every moment. If we don’t we risk being lost. It’s not a competition, it’s a responsibility.

  So, last night my son and I got to enjoy a BIG MTM. I purchased two tickets at a charity auction for a Toronto Maple Leafs game and we watched them lose, it was a horrible game. The Leafs were abysmal. Here’s the thing though, our night was amazing and we created a true MTM.

  The moment of clarity for me was when Matthew turned to me and said, “Dad, this is the best night of my life.”

  Please understand that this is not meant to say that all fathers deserve equal access, there are many that do not. Each father is different and there needs to be less of a quick, one sided judgement.  Until our courts realize that parents are of equal value and that a good father has an equal role in the upbringing of a healthy child, I will continue to find and create MTM’s for my children. I also encourage all parents not to take the time you have with your kids for granted. These days happen only once.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing on Jan 10, 2010 at 12:08 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (4)

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