Youth Leadership Camps Canada

Stu-Pendous Blog - Leadership

These are the thoughts of speaker, author and camp director Stu Saunders.
For Stu’s original blog, you may still access his archives here.

• If you are lucky…

  Jan 28, 2012

  If you are lucky, you will meet someone special. I am not talking about a life partner. I mean that would be nice. Although, I think Life Partner is a daunting title. I mean to say you will have a partner for life is truly a long time. Most relationships (romantic ones) end eventually. It is sad and never intended but it happens. In fact in Canada the divorce and separation rate is closing in 60%. The average marriage last about 14.5 years (Stats Can).

  This isn’t what this blog is about though. I am talking about someone special. Someone who really loves you. Not in an intimate way. Most people consider relationships to be dating and then marriage. I mean friendship. Real hard core friendship. Over the last few days as I struggled with the reminder of loss and tragedy I found I had a few really good friends. People that were here for me and were willing to forget what ever it was they were doing to listen and help. Better yet, make me laugh and challenge me to think.

  Today, my dearest and most cherished friend proved to me that she was just that. She had just flown back less then 24 hours ago from a remote country (19 hour flight) and had no sleep. She braved a mini winter storm and showed up on my door way to hug me. To talk, to listen, to tell me stories of her adventures in a far off land, to talk about social issues, love, loss and we debated what everything really means. We laughed, we both talked and we both listened.

  There was no expectations. It wasn’t about talking endlessly about loss, lost loves or lost lives. It was about celebrating this moment right now. With us.

  She left, but before she did we hugged for a long time. We didn’t say anything at all. Then we broke our embrace and she said, “I love you Stu, you ARE awesome.”

  Partners come and go. Some stay as friends some disappear as ex’s. If you’re lucky they will stay part of your life and you will celebrate together. But, if you’re really lucky you will find a friend that makes you feel like the world is on your side and you are beautiful or handsome, smart, amazing and valuable. I am blessed by her. I am also blessed that in one conversation my entire perspective changed, my energy shifted and I became wiser. Much wiser.

  Take an inventory of your relationships. If they aren’t helping you grow, it may be time to weed the garden.

  “You are who you have coffee with.” - Robin Sharma

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing on Jan 28, 2012 at 3:30 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

• Untying the knot

  Jan 9, 2012

  I remember going through the buildings at our Pigeon Lake camp the first time we actually owned it. I remember seeing so much junk in every building. We ended up throwing out over 30 tons of “stuff”. Yes, over 30 tons. Although, amongst that junk there was something that really struck me when I entered Cabin 17, one of our larger cabins. It was an old plastic sign made to look like wood. It had a monkey holding onto a vine with a determined look on his face. There was a quote underneath that said, “When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” It made me laugh. I thought I really agree with that mantra. In fact it was perfect for that moment. We had bought Pigeon Lake as a back up plan because we thought we were going to lose the Orillia (Lake Simcoe) camp. This new camp was kind of like the knot and we were holding on for dear life.

  I can tell you that I have lived by that saying throughout my adult life. Since I was 21 and started speaking and created the camps there have been a hundred knots I have tied and held on for dear life. Sometimes, despite my best grip, I slip off the rope and fall. It hurts sometimes really bad. I would even say it stings. The key of course is to find a new rope and start climbing again.

  But what if you untie the knot and jump off? You intentionally let go of the rope. You might say that goes against everything I teach and the exact story of our success. That’s true and it’s false. Here’s where maturity and experience come in. Sometimes in life you have to recognize when the knot needs to be untied. Even if we want something really bad or believe in an idea or want someone so much it hurts. There are signs the Universe will give you. Signs that say look again, try again and begin again. It’s the ability to have the wisdom to know the difference that matters most. Untying the knot doesn’t mean you fail, it means you know you need to move forward.

  I remember a program I had created to help transition students into high school. I really believed in it. People doubted me and told me why it would fail. I believed in the potential so much that I stuck with it. Ignoring the comments and the reality of how poorly it was going. In the end the rope broke, I fell and I fell hard. We lost over $80,000 and I was terrified I would get the “I told you so’s”. I thought for sure it was going to work. The students that went through the program loved it. I just needed to hold on! Right? Tie another knot!

  In the end when the dust settled we were still in business and what was most important we learned. We learned what we were good at. We also found a new rope and began climbing again. The Universe (friends, colleagues, family and even strangers) wants you to succeed. Don’t live your life to prove people wrong, live your life to prove yourself right. If that means untying the knot, so be it. Learn. Grow. There are lots of ropes to climb.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Learning and Growing Motivation on Jan 9, 2012 at 10:45 am | Permanent Link | Comments (9)

• Mulan

  Dec 31, 2011

  Remember that Disney movie Mulan? There is a scene that where Mulan sings about her reflection showing who she really is and who she dreams of being. I remember my oldest daughter Kristina being 6 or 7 and singing that song at one of our camp fires. She was amazing. I cried a little.

  The question though, is so relevant? We often try and model ourselves in the image of a sports star, some cool school “friend”, a celebrity or someone who is on the cover of a gossip rag. We get frustrated with ourselves when we don’t measure up or more likely bring ourselves down to that level.

  In 2012 why not focus on being the best YOU. Why not figure out how you can be a better person, son or daughter, friend, teammate or colleague. People come and go in our lives, celebrities rise and fall, but you will always be there staring straight back in the mirror. One of kind. Full of potential and yet to discover adventure.

  Make this year a year where you start discovering the person you CAN be.

  You are truly STUpendous! Happy New Year.

  PS You can join the 22 Days of Change starting on the 3rd of December by clicking on this link http://on.fb.me/uvaEaM

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Dec 31, 2011 at 9:55 am | Permanent Link | Comments (4)

• The POWER of START

  Dec 28, 2011

  You just gotta shake it.

  I remember years ago I did the Tony Robbins personal power program. 30 days to a new life. It’s a lot of common sense stuff.

  One of the things that I remember is the idea of shifting yourself when you are tired, down or sad.

  If you just do the simple action of getting up, going for a walk, have a little stretch, making a call to a friend that you know is upbeat, writing in a journal, making your bed, starting a new book or making a cup of tea. These very, very simple actions can change your entire mood and direction.

  I always have said “I believe you can change your life in an instant.” This really is true and it does work.

  I was feeling down yesterday, we all feel down and that’s ok. It’s important to look at why your down. Is it something you’re avoiding, something you don’t want to deal with, is it winter blues or are you just riding the bitter bus? Sometimes it’s a BIG thing and sometimes it’s just you need some fresh air and sunshine, a long strong hug or a good healthy meal!

  Whatever it is don’t avoid it, embrace it and make a simple 1% action step to change. The journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step!

  I have to make a tea and you just need to START!

  Happy New Year!

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Goal Setting Leadership Learning and Growing Motivation on Dec 28, 2011 at 11:21 am | Permanent Link | Comments (4)

• Fail UP

  Dec 19, 2011

  Woke up this morning and got inspired! How? Reading. I love reading, I do NOT do it enough. But man do I love it. This morning I came across a quote that really struck me.

  If you want to learn about success, talk to a successful person. If you want to learn about failure, talk to a very successful person.

  Wow, that really is true. I was watching a video last night by Robin Sharma. It was an interview he did for Studio 4. The interviewer, Fanny Kiefer, mentioned that people need to understand that it’s ok to fail as long as they fail up. What an awesome idea when you stop and think about it. Too often we commit to something, know it’s not working and are scared to let it go, to fail. Many of us won’t try at all for the fear of failure. This is a BIG reason many of us go nowhere or develop as humans very slowly. We need to shake that. It’s OK to fail, to let something go, to be a failure. As long as we don’t stop where we fail.

  We just need to fail UP. This is a simple concept that teaches us that as long as we grow and learn from our mistakes we get better. If we move forward or “up” then we are not failing at all. We are simply growing.

  I could tell you about a hundred failures I have had in business, friendships, relationships and schooling. I’m ok with all of them. I wouldn’t trade one of them. I love to get better. I am not afraid to say I am sorry or “I admit I made a mistake.”. These words don’t scare me anymore. The older I get the more I realize I have lots to learn! I am excited about that growth. To let go of the past and learn from it. Sometimes failing hurts, but like building muscle we have to feel the pain of the growth for it to show.

  “You learn more from falling flat on your face than you ever will in school.”  Billy Joel

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Learning and Growing Motivation on Dec 19, 2011 at 12:15 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

• Jiffy Change

  Dec 18, 2011

  I have been in the business of making peoples lives better for a VERY long time. More than 20 years. I am not saying that I am life-changer, I’m simply saying that the career in which I have chosen is one of change and development. Over the years I have worked with about 13,000 campers, about a 1000 or so staff and about 2,000,000 (two million) students and teachers. This is an awesome number when you stop and think about it. As I reflect on my year, I am once again humbled and honoured to be part of so many peoples lives.

  One of the things that has really stuck the last few years is the idea of manageable life change. We are always being told that we should set goals. Some say make them realistic, some say make them huge and audacious! Still others say goals are just instruments to remind us that we are failing or that we are not where we should be. I strongly disagree with the latter.

  I was reading an article many years ago about forming habits. How people need to create positive habits and get rid of negative ones. Then it hit me, aren’t habits just goals accomplished and now part of our daily lives? I mean if you want to get in shape you make a goal, then you start to create a plan to work out and eat right. That leads to a daily routine to reach that goal of new muscle or a new waist size. After you reach the goal most of us become hooked on the new healthy diet and/or the rush you get from exercising. You continue to do it long after the goal has been reached. Therefore the new lifestyle is now a life habit.

  With this in mind I developed the 22 Day Challenge. A series of small daily repetitive changes you can put into your life. There are many “experts” that say new habits take 21 days to form. Therefore the 22nd day instills that habit into your sub-concious, you just start needing to do it. There are those that say 40 days is the magic number. It doesn’t really matter, I believe that 21 days is a very real and manageable number. Three weeks of commitment.

  I do these all the time. I do them to help myself be better. To be a better dad, friend, partner, boss, camp director and speaker. I have taught this at camp and many staff have successfully completed 22 days of change in their lives. Some have even kept the habits going many months or years later. That’s the idea. It’s NOT about giving something up, it’s about starting something fresh. Many people participate in a religious practice of giving something up for a period of time, then when that time is over they go right back to doing what they gave up. Never understood that. To me that seems like a counter-productive practice.

  So, with all this in mind, I am inviting anyone to who is interested to join the 22 Days of Change program on Facebook. We will be a starting as a group on January 2nd, 2012. (never start anything new on January 1st). If you are interested please click on 22 Days of Change and “like” the page. Then, the key is to actually follow along and participate in the challenge. Please don’t just “like” it and then never check back. You are missing the point! I hope that you, along with me, will commit to 22 days of change. It can, if you choose, change your life forever.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Goal Setting Leadership Learning and Growing Motivation on Dec 18, 2011 at 4:19 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

• The Yo-YO

  Dec 16, 2011

  This summer I took my family to a beautiful cottage in Northern Quebec. We were right on the lake, the view was breath taking. I figured we would swim, play games, do a little boating maybe explore the area through a few hikes. We did do all this, but it wasn’t the highlight for my 11 year old son.

  On the second day I went into the small town and picked him up a Yo-Yo. It’s a toy developed more then 400 years ago. Hasn’t really changed in 4 centuries. Well, for Matthew, that was it. He didn’t stop working on it, making up tricks and best of all putting on shows synchronized to music. It was one of the high points for all of us. Every day there was something new to see!

  I found the Yo-Yo the other day and it it made me think, aren’t our lives a lot like Yo-Yo’s. I mean there are ups and downs and sometimes we have to do tricks to get through. At first glance we all think that playing with a Yo-Yo is easy. I mean it looks that way… from a distance. The reality is, it’s pretty difficult. Especially to truly master it. Here’s the thing, sometimes you flick the toy down and it get’s stuck, it won’t come back up. You may try and spin it back but it just sits there, staring at you. almost laughing. You think “I can’t even make a silly toy come back to me. Many of us will put it down and walk away. Call it a dumb toy or say “I can’t do it” and chalk it up to a waste of time. It’s like the problems and challenges we face in life. When we get hit with a down cycle many of us just walk away and give up, or what’s worse we slip into anger and depression.

  Then there others who will pick the yo-yo back up and re-wrap the string and try again. A successful and happy life is about picking the yo-yo back up and re-wrapping the string. Trying again. There are some tricks like “walking the dog” that are easy and some like “the bell tower” that are really hard. You may not master them all. That’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up. You need to try, sometimes you will get really good at some and other times you just need to forget the ones that frustrate you (friends, habits, relationships, negative people) and try something new. You have to understand that sometimes “things” may look easy and when you try them they ARE hard or not for you. That’s cool. That’s part of the learning process. It doesn’t mean you or your life should be considered a failure.

  Understand this, the Yo-Yo wants you to play with it. It wants to be flipped through the air, spun fast and held in the palm of your hand. Equally, life wants you to succeed. Life though, needs as much practice as the Yo-Yo. There are only a few Yo-Yo masters out there. They can’t do all the tricks but they can do a few really, really well. It wasn’t a quick thing, it took time and tons of failures. Treat life like that. Don’t give up, try! Make sure though you have the wisdom to know when to try the next trick.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing Motivation on Dec 16, 2011 at 1:17 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (0)

• Little bits of joy

  Nov 3, 2011

  I remember it clear as day, like it was yesterday. I was sitting in a high-end Steak House with one of my closest friends. We were sharing a bottle of wine and talking about life. I was very down. I had gone through some pretty bad stuff at the time, my family had fallen apart and a dear friend had been diagnosed with a life threatening disease. I had gone on a date and was not called back.  I was complaining, going on about the world being against me. You know the feeling you get when you truly feel that the world isn’t your friend. She sat and listened and smiled, didn’t comment, didn’t judge or get frustrated with me. When I stopped complaining and came up for air, she looked me straight in the eyes and said, “You need to find little bits of joy in your life.”

  What? This seemed like a trivial answer to my “the world’s against me” problems. Then we looked around us, the great music that was playing, the amazing food on our plate, the ability we both had to be together and share our time, to talk, to listen, to enjoy the Ovation chocolate mints that we new were coming at the end of the meal, to pay for our meal and then to walk out on our own, working legs and into my car and drive to our homes in our peaceful city.

  That was over 10 years ago. I have forever remembered that dinner. We have talked about it often. We both have gone through more challenges in our lives but I try to find those little bits of joy that can fill my heart and life my spirit. It’s not always easy, but it is possible. Try.

  Make a list today of those little bits of joy, all of them. No matter how small. I bet you feel better when you’re done.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Nov 3, 2011 at 8:10 am | Permanent Link | Comments (1)

• APR

  Oct 27, 2011

  I have been blessed with a good life. First, I live in Canada, enough said. Second, I have been able to meet incredible people who motivate, inspire and remind me that life is truly what you make of it. You ultimately are in charge of the roller coaster that you ride.

  I have been fortunate that one of my closest friends has been Robin Sharma the international best selling author, sought after speaker and the coach of billionaires world wide. I think we are friends because I don’t look to him to coach me, change my life or impart life changing wisdom. I look to him for friendship,  camaraderie and social conversation. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t push me with hard questions about my life. In fact I remember about five years ago over a cup of tea he told me I needed to take APR or Absolute Personal Responsibility. This has been ringing around my head lately. It is becoming clearer and clearer with each decision I make or think of making.

  We all play the blame game. Our lives would always be better if someone did something different, lived somewhere else, had more money, better education, different family or friends,  made a different choice or someone did their job better. Thankfully there are few of us that can look at a negative situation and say… “How could I have done better?” or “How did I get in this position?”. Be objective and try and learn and grow.

  Buddha says, “We are exactly where we are supposed to be.”

  Maybe it’s an age thing, life experience or being more open than most. I know people in my life right now that are playing the blame game and even bought a pass to ride the “bitter bus”. Get off!

  It’s true there may be outside forces or issues that will force you into situations or places that you may not want or feel uncomfortable in. So what! You’re not alone, we all deal with it, every single day.  The bottom line we need as humans and as leaders to take some APR. There are two quotes to think about:

  1. “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it” - Charles Swindoll
  2. “Don’t burn the bridges on the way up because you may need to cross them again on the way back down.” - Stu Saunders

  Take action today and start to realize that this is your life. Take it by the horns and love it, blame free!

  Embrace APR!!

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Oct 27, 2011 at 4:34 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (1)

• TSN turning point

  Oct 24, 2011

  Today well lived
  Makes every yesterday
  A dream of happiness
  And every tomorrow
  A vision of hope.

  Sanskrit Poem

  My dad passed away a few weeks ago, he was 72. On the 22nd of October we held a memorial service to honour his life. It was nice. Many of his friends spoke and I met some nice people and re-aquainted my self with some family and friends I had not seen in years. They promised to stay in contact.

  My brother passed away 9 months ago, he was 46. On the 22nd of October we thought about the 46th birthday he would of celebrated that day. I heard from a few people saying they were thinking of our family. It was nice. First time I had heard from many of them since his service.

  I have a dear friend who has been battling cancer for about 4 years and doing everything in her power to win. She lives with passion, zest and love. All the time. She inspires me.

  What is it about death that slaps the living in the face? Is it the sudden reality of the fragility of life? Is it the idea of losing something and not getting it back? Once we embrace our mortality we begin to live. Why do we wait? Why don’t we live right now? Push ourselves to experience the awesome possibilities of life.

  Here’s what I get frustrated about in death. The hollow promises we make each other and ourselves at the time when someone we love dies. “I will keep in contact with all of you.”, “I will call you next week!”, “Let’s stop meeting like this.”, “I will love my kids a little more!”. “Wow, makes you appreciate life!”. Soon after though we rejoin the herd and shuffle along with nothing more than good intentions and unfulfilled promises.

  If death and sickness have taught me anything is that it’s the universes way of reminding us that life is what we make of it. If you don’t love your job, change it. If you love someone tell them. If you need to make new friends, make them. If you are unhealthy, get healthy. If you smoke, quit. If you are carrying around a grudge or anger, let it go. If you want to laugh more, smile first.

  Make this day the day you decide to be different. To hug, to kiss, to laugh, to run, to write, to say thank you, to play. To be! Make this day the turning point that becomes the anniversary of change a year from now. You have the ability, you have the tools. YOU are in charge. 

  “A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.” - MLK

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing on Oct 24, 2011 at 12:53 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (4)

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