Youth Leadership Camps Canada

Stu-Pendous Blog - Archives for March 2012

These are the thoughts of speaker, author and camp director Stu Saunders.
For Stu’s original blog, you may still access his archives here.

• Time to parent…

  Aug 19, 2011

  Driving home yesterday from a speech in Walled Lake, Michigan I heard a commercial for “Winners”. I was shocked and saddened. There was a young girl yelling at her mom because she didn’t purchase her the right clothes. She said, “Don’t you know mom, what I wear to school will make or break me!” The announcer then said, “Get your children what they want!”

  Really?

  People try and buy their children’s love, they want to be their kids buddies, they buy them all the name brands and designer labels. Some parents dress their little girls (6 year olds) in tops that say “Dangerous Devil”, “My mom is naughty!”, “I get what I want because I am cute”. These are shirts I actually saw at 12 Oaks Mall in Michigan yesterday. I even saw a baby shirt that said, “I’m living proof my mom is easy” 

  They put their 12 year olds in short, shorts and wonder why at 16 their boys have little respect for women or for that matter their girls for themselves. We can’t expect our children to grow up until we as parents grow up and become adults and start parenting.

  In twenty years of running a summer camp I know a few things. One, your child can survive and actually will enjoy being unplugged. Two, for sure your children are sponges. You get drunk in front of them, they will be more apt to get drunk, smoke drugs or do hard drugs they will too. As a parent you have a responsibility to teach and positively influence your children and your neighbours. Your actions, language and comments are being sucked in by them.

  The biggest challenge with this generation, the children, is the last one is so not ready to shape today’s. PLEASE be a parent. Love your children, they actually want to spend time with you. Remember when going out for dinner was special? They will love board games if we choose to be engaged with them. It’s more valuable than any app or video game.

  Let them Play outside (running on the Wii Fit is not playing outside). Allow them to get their designer clothes really dirty and embrace every single cut, bruise and scrape. You did and you survived. Stop taking their childhood away. They aren’t your BFF’s they are your opportunity to create a better tomorrow. Love them, teach them and spend time with them. They don’t have to be cool like you were or you were not. They really just want to be your child and be happy.

  I am not perfect, I am always working at being a better dad. I know I can do more and have made BIG steps to be more “there” for my three amazing kids. Like any work of art it takes time and effort. Shouldn’t we treat our children as if they were the most beautiful creations on the planet? To shape and colour in with the most vibrant of colours available.

  Something to think about.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing on Aug 19, 2011 at 3:33 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

• Christmas Morning

  May 7, 2011

  One of my most vivid memories of being a child was Christmas eve when I was 6. My brother, whom I looked up to (because he was taller), was in a very excited mood. Santa would soon be here. He and I ran up and down the hallway much to my parents chagrin. We yelled, laughed, teased and played. I remember being absolutely exhausted. My favourite moment of that night was when Craig disappeared into the bathroom and returned moments later with his pyjama pants pulled low and his oversized pyjama top pulled lower to meet his bottoms. It made him look like he had short little legs and we all laughed. I of course, immediately copied him. Both of us running all over the house screaming “short legs, short legs, I’ve got short legs!”. My sides ached of laughter.

  That night was one of my favourite memories of childhood. It didn’t cost anything and it wasn’t pre-planned. It just happened. There is a great saying that goes something like; “The best moments in life tend to happen when there are no camera’s around.” I am not sure who said that. Maybe it was my mom or dad, maybe it was Martin Luther King or Tony Robbins. It doesn’t matter who because it does hold some much truth.

  I have been really hung up lately on the idea of creating memories and moments. The stuff you do at 16 will be the stuff you tell friends, family and kids about at 35. A picture can show the event but your words and description will give it a pulse. The amazing thing about your memories are they are yours. You have the creative license to tell the story. The mountain of snow you scaled at recess that was 30 feet high. The first kiss that was under the stars, near the water on a dock with a warm breeze soothing your sun drenched skin. The advise you got from a teacher that steered you in a direction you never expected. The random road trip that created small moments that become epic over time. There is no App, no video game or virtual experience that can be programmed for those morsels of childhood moments that become the feasts of the stories you will share with others.

  Unplug today, if the sun is shining, take off your shoes and crunch your toes in the cool spring grass, run, laugh, play. Create new moments. Be aware and store them to your rolodex of life. Life is beautiful.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing on May 7, 2011 at 10:03 am | Permanent Link | Comments (5)

• Up where we belong

  Mar 12, 2011

  “Up Where We Belong” is a song from the eighties. It’s sung by Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes. It was a pretty popular song in its time. I haven’t heard that song for a VERY long time. Today, while I was cleaning my little cabin in the woods it came on the Radio. I was instantly transported back in time. Back to 1989. This was the year I worked in Grand Bend (the first time), I was hired to be the DJ of Sanders on the Beach. At the time Sanders was the most popular bar. It had three patios, outdoor music, faced Lake Huron and had some of the best sunsets in the world. People would line up for hours, yes hours, on a long weekend to get in and pay a very inflated price for a drink. I was popular. Not because I was good looking or the life of the party, but because I was the DJ of the coolest bar in “the Bend”. I wasn’t a great DJ. There were far better. I was selected by my brother to be ‘the man’.

  In an instant this morning, when I heard this song I was whisked back to a very different time. A time of pure young fun, absolute immature stupidity, summer crushes and blanked out nights. I was 19, I was invincible. I went on to work three more summers in the Bend and I always had fun. They weren’t the best times, but they were moments etched into my memory. Moments of new friends and a popularity that I never experienced in my life prior to those summer days at the beach.

  I struggle with young people that take jobs that are less then what they want just because it’s “better money”. I am challenged by youth that rush through the days of unbridled possibility. Those days shaped me. They helped me solidify my understanding of right and wrong, maturity and immaturity.

  There should be a place in everyones life to play, to be stupid and to be young. That one song reminded me of that. At the end of each night in the “Sandbar”, our dance bar in the basement of Sanders, I would play that Joe Cocker song. The young love of the day would dance, kiss and a sense of calm would envelope me. Somehow I knew that these times were unique, they wouldn’t last, but they were special.

  I miss those days, I miss the clean whiteboard. No idea of what was to be written or drawn. Absolutely ignorant to the real struggles or triumphs that would face me over the next 20 years. Why? Because it didn’t matter.

  I was up where I belonged. I was the DJ.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Family Life Learning and Growing Motivation on Mar 12, 2011 at 2:07 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (2)

• More

  Jan 9, 2011

  So often in life we would like to have more. In fact, I believe that most people want more. The question is are you willing to make a change to get more?

  There is a fine line between wanting more then you currently have and loving what you already have more. What I mean is that you already have a lot. I assume that you, the reader of this blog are sitting in front of your own computer. That’s more then 85% of the world can do. You are probably in your own home, again more then many people. You may even be at your university, growing and becoming… well… MORE. This higher education opportunity is again more then many people dream of having.

  I once heard a speaker say that people in North America are always trying to win the lottery. Why? You probably already have. Your life, here in North America (specifically the US or Canada), is full of far MORE then most of the world. So grow, challenge yourself, be better. The reason? Because you can, you have the freedom to be, do and have MORE.

  Remember though, while on the journey of MORE, celebrate the “already have’s”, because life is really already pretty awesome.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Learning and Growing Motivation on Jan 9, 2011 at 10:16 am | Permanent Link | Comments (5)

• Lessons Learned

  Dec 29, 2010

  As the year draws to a close and the prospect of a new year approaches, the excitement of New Year’s resolutions is upon us all. We all make a set of goals and objectives trying to make our year better, our lives better. The truth is that studies show that 12 percent of men and 10 percent of women actually achieve their resolutions.

  So, I thought I would share what I have learned in 2010 with the idea in mind that it may help myself and perhaps you in setting your goals for 2011.

  1. Be the kindest person you can be and the world will come to you.
  2. Show gratitude every day and in every way. Thank you are the two most important words in any language.
  3. Eat better, sugar and processed foods are not good.
  4. Just because the label says it’s natural doesn’t make it good for you.
  5. Drink at least 1 litre of water every day, if you can 2 litres.
  6. Have the conversations you need to have, even if they scare you (this one I need to always work on).
  7. Facebook is not the greatest thing in the world.
  8. Playing on the Wii is not the same as playing outside.
  9. Many parents are too over protective and could do well to remember their childhood.
  10. Making someones day doesn’t take cash.
  11. Reading a book is a still awesome. Including the BOOK OF AWESOME.
  12. The value of a hand written note has way more value then an email or text message.
  13. I can always be better and you can make that choice every day.
  14. The more you give the more you get.
  15. I really enjoy a glass of red wine.
  16. I love taking my dog for a walk. Be outside more in 2011.
  17. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
  18. Grow where you are planted.
  19. Journal, journal, journal! If your life is worth living, it’s worth recording.
  20. Get up earlier.
  21. Simplify your life. Clutter in your world = clutter in your mind.
  22. I have a lot to learn - So do you.
  23. It’s ok to say no.
  24. It’s ok to say “I don’t know.”
  25. Ask your parents about their childhood.
  26. I don’t always have to make my kids life “better” than yours. My life (and yours) was probably pretty good.
  27. Spend more money on a good mattress than a good TV.
  28. Summer Camp is a good thing that every child should experience.
  29. Apple has the best customer service in any industry.
  30. Writing a gratitude list is a very good thing.
  31. 1% actions steps are the key to all success. Break down your goals.
  32. I can make a New Year’s Resolution at any time. In fact the 1st of January isn’t the best day (statistically proven).
  33. I am incredibly lucky to be alive, live in the country I do and have the family I have. Thank you.

  Happy New Year to all! Forward this list if you think it’s valuable.

  Thanks to all those that have supported me, YLCC, OSLC and all that we do.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing Motivation on Dec 29, 2010 at 12:27 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (5)

• Friendaversery

  Nov 24, 2010

  It is said that children come to us more highly evolved then adults. In fact children are often quoted and used as examples of wisdom. They give us constant examples. In fact most parents will willingly tell you that their lives have been changed dramatically by their kids. They have new outlooks on life, new priorities and even a new appreciation for the little things.

  The wonder that a toddler experiences every single day is awesome. A butterfly, flower, dog, shiny key or bright piece of fabric can bring a clown sized smile to a one or two year old. The excitement of running fast or jumping over or in a puddle can amaze a four or five year old. The creation a seven year old makes out of a cardboard box can entertain for days even weeks. The optimistic perspective of a ten year old can create change in even the most shrewd forty-five year old corporate titan.

  My kids are amazing. They teach me every day and have for years. Kristina at six years old, now nineteen, said, “Wouldn’t it be great if life was like a VHS tape? You could fast forward through the bad stuff and rewind and watch the good stuff over and over again!”

  Yesterday, while talking to my ten year old son, he was excited to tell me about how special the day was. When I asked him why he said, “Today is me and Luke’s friendaversary!”

  “What’s that mean?”, I asked having an idea what this ‘holiday may represent.

  “It’s been five years since Luke and I became friends! Each year we celebrate our friendship.”

  Awesome. Truly simple. I hope that hallmark doesn’t hear about this new found celebration or else we will soon find “Friendaversary” cards available at local card shops.

  What a great idea, celebrating our friends. Luke and Matty don’t go out for a fancy dinner, buy an expensive gift or go away on a trip. Matty says they simply talk about “old times” and laugh.

  Please take a moment today to do two things; one, celebrate a good friend and two, ask a child about their perspective on life, what’s important and how to better enjoy our days. You may be amazed at what you learn.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing Motivation on Nov 24, 2010 at 1:56 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

• Change happens

  Nov 16, 2010

  I haven’t written in a long time. I have started many a blog that way, I realize that. Got me thinking, why? Why do I write so much less then I used to? I think I have been in a bit of a funk. Things are going great right now, please don’t get me wrong. Life is actually pretty awesome. I just can’t seem to find the personal spark right now. I know it’s right there, just sitting there waiting. I am trying to make some big decisions right now, life changing, business changing, health changers. I know I need to spend some time with me, all alone, with my journal and figure it out. Change is ok. Scary and uncomfortable but good. I need to be ok with that. I hope that when I get through this process I am much clearer then I am now.

  If there is a lesson in all of this I think it’s ok to uncomfortable with stuff. I also believe that any good leader is always learning and growing. HERE IS BIG NEWS, you aren’t perfect. Far from it. No one is. I meet people all the time, even some that work with me that believe that they have it all figured out. They don’t. They really don’t. That’s a hard lesson to learn. Just when you get comfortable, you should force yourself to be uncomfortable. That where the growth happens. I also continue to be reminded that the grass isn’t always, in fact rarely is, greener on the other side. Grow where you are planted, shine even on those cloudy days and be ok with change, in fact embrace it.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Learning and Growing Motivation on Nov 16, 2010 at 2:58 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (2)

• This is not how it’s supposed to be?

  Sep 6, 2010

  A young boy stays awake for what seems forever, hoping and praying and thinking. He has tried for hours, days and weeks. Over and over and over he has shot the ball at the net. Sometimes it goes in, sometimes it misses completly, still other times it circles the rim three or four times and topples in… or out.

  The day comes and he is focused, he plays the scene over and over again in his head. He see’s the basketball falling though the hoop, the coach smiling and a friend giving him a well deserved high-five. He hears his dad’s words clearly, “Give it your best and the coach will do the rest. Just try your hardest.”

  It’s his turn, he lines up a the free-throw line and concentrates, like a mind-reader seeing the future. He is sure to others in the gymnasium he must look like an NBA forward bouncing the ball once, twice, quick little toss between his sweaty hands. One more bounce. He closes eyes and visualizes the ball swooshing through the hoop, nothin’ but net.

  He bends his knees, opens his eyes and releases the ball. It sails through the air like a slow motion replay. It is headed perfectly towards the net. Then, suddenly like a well pitched sinker in baseball, it seems to drop and it hits the front of the rim, bouncing off and not going in.

  “HOW?!” is all he can scream in his head. He stares at the net then the ball. He hears nothing. Then the silence is broken by the coach yelling at him to ‘move on’.

  This is not supposed to be the way it plays out. He was sure he would make the team, make his dad proud, make new friends, be popular. He runs out of the gym without taking a second shot. He quits.

  Life doesn’t have an app called “The Way it’s Supposed to Go…”. That’s the beauty and the tragedy that life is.

  The child isn’t supposed to be left by his parents. The couple is supposed to stay married forever. The dog isn’t supposed to be pushed out of a car because he’s inconvenient. The expectant mother isn’t supposed to lose her baby. The 31 year old woman isn’t supposed to be stricken with breast cancer. Friends aren’t supposed to lie to you. Large corporations and powerful politicians aren’t supposed to be crooked and dishonest. People and religions shouldn’t be intolerable. Insert whatever you want.

  But they are.

  So what do we do? What do you and I do? Adapt. Change, Try. Breathe. Grow. Accept. Move on. Fight back. Organize. Care more. Write more. Tolerate more. Dream more! We must learn from our mistakes. Increase our awareness and make better choices.

  The world needs more people to expect less, assume nothing and dream bigger… MUCH BIGGER!

  You can create how your life is supposed to be. None of us are entitled to anything. It must be earned and developed and nourished. It’s up to us to make it how it’s supposed to be.

  This school year, be a doer not an expecter! Make your year what it could be. Make your day how you want it to be, how it’s supposed to be.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Sep 6, 2010 at 8:08 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (5)

• Plane tickets to Sushi Dinners

  Aug 3, 2010

  My life is amazing. I am given constant reminders every single day of how I am being guided by the universe in the most amazing ways.

  My favourite quote that I have ever said is…

  “Be the kindest person you can be and the world will come to you!”

  I made this up because it exemplifies what I believe. The kinder you are, the more the universe will shower you with opportunities, kindness, dreams, wonderful friendships and support.

  I once was kind to a gate agent in Chicago during a massive ice storm. She rewarded me with a seat on the only plane leaving that night… first class. I don’t do kind things because I want or expect anything in return. On the contrary, I actually get a little more joy when only I know.

  It wasn’t to long ago I was out for a sushi dinner at one of my favourite restaurants enjoying conversation with one of the most wonderful people I know. When we noticed the table beside us was in a deep discussion. These four young teenage boys all had looks of serious concern on their faces. I soon realized that they were short of money. They hadn’t considered their pops, the taxes or even a tip. So, we finished our meal and when I paid asked our server to put their entire bill on mine and I paid for it all, tip included.

  There was no big scene. I didn’t make a speech. As I left we made eye contact and they realized that I had bailed them out of their little shortage. I felt great! They were relieved and perhaps they will learn something from the event. One, bring enough money to pay for dinner. Two, how good it feels to be bailed out of a sticky situation and will in turn help someone else.

  So go out today and do something kind for someone. The key though, is to do it for the right reason. Do it because it’s the right thing to do and it feels SO good.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Aug 3, 2010 at 2:30 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (2)

• Living the dream

  Jul 16, 2010

  I know I haven’t written a BLOG in a LONG time. I have been busy. I have been on vacation. Been spending time at the beach, going for runs, lazing around in Muskoka chairs, went for a couple of nature hikes, did a little rock climbing, spent a lot of time reflecting and reading, enjoyed a few spins on the speed boat, had some gourmet food prepared by my own amazing chef and I am currently bustin’ a move at the Disco!

  It has been an amazing few weeks. The good news is that I am on vacation for the next 6 weeks!! I know what you are wondering, how? How do I do this, how do I afford it? Truth is, it’s all free. In fact I get paid to do it. Honestly. No, I don’t work on a cruise line or some expensive five star resort.

  I own a summer camp. I have for 18 years. I am blessed by whomever you want to name. I am blessed by the ability to truly live out my dreams! Years ago a YMCA camp counsellor I said to who would ever listen that I want to own my own camp one day… and PRESTO, I do. Now, I would like you to believe that it was just that easy, but it wasn’t. It took a lot of time, hard work and patience. 

  The hardest parts of this whole journey has been one, making the actual decision to start the camp and two, believing in my dream SO much that when everyone else around me told me that we should not expand, not move and not even keep doing the camp, I said no. The only two true passions I have in my life are my kids and growing YLCC (YouthLeadership Camps Canada, that’s my camp).

  There were a plethora of exits provided to me on silver plater. There were lots of “reasons” I could of folded up the tents and no one would have thought any less of me. Except one person… me. I would forever know that I quit, that I gave up.

  My job, my career is my vacation. There are tough times and as we grow tougher choices I am faced with. That’s ok, even the most perfect vacation can have rainy days. You just have to make a new plan, adjust your sails and regroup. I guess my challenge to anyone is to find that ONE thing that you believe in SO much that you will do anything to make it a reality. Maybe it’s a new business, a family, making the team, graduating with honours, writing that book or owning your own camp one day.

  The only thing you have to remember is that you need to work hard, don’t give up, believe in you and ignore the critics.

  I’m off to a much deserved rest. Goodnight and dream deeply!

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Jul 16, 2010 at 12:04 am | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

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