Youth Leadership Camps Canada

STU-Pendous Blog

These are the thoughts of speaker, author and camp director Stu Saunders.
For Stu’s original blog, you may still access his archives here.

• A life defined

  Feb 27, 2010

  How you live your days defines your life.

  I am not sure where I read that quote. I am not sure if perhaps I strung it together myself. The point though, is not new. Each and every day of our lives we choose to live how we want. It’s true you may have restrictions from bosses, coaches, parents, financial means, geography or physical ability but no one controls our attitude.

  I once wrote a blog called the “Bitter Bus”, the point being so many of us live our days riding around as passengers on the bus of bitterness. We complain, whine, blame and make excuses. We exist rather then evolve. Each day is a chance to get better, to grow and to learn. Why not choose to be the star rather then the extra of your movie, your life, your day?

  Today I had trouble getting out of bed, putting on my winter gear and venturing out into the deep snow with my dog Duke. I struggle through the packed ice and with each step I labour to the next. I think to myself, “turn around”, no I can’t. After the first five minutes have been conquered I get stronger, I search for deeper snow, for challenge. I move to the lake and embrace the cutting wind as it strikes my face, burning it. I pick up my pace, high step through the snow drifts. My Lab and I throw the stick for a while. His enthusiasm is never changing. Heading around the point I find the path back to my home. I take the hills instead of the path. My dog breathes heavy, panting, whining a little but continues. When we arrive back to the house, I peal off the gear and my shirt is soaked with sweat. I feel as if I won, I am an Olympic athlete that has conquered my foe. That foe is me. I am the only one that decides how I live.

  Back on the couch, I pour my coffee, Duke is fast asleep on his bed. I open my Mac and begin to write. Already I feel as if I am winning.

  Today I will CHOOSE to live fully, to live deliberately, to define my day. There is no bitter bus, it does not exist.

  My life story is a result of my days. My mortality is my coach, reminding me that I must win, play hard and find a way. I am the star and not the extra, the passenger or the observer.

  Are you?

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Learning and Growing Motivation on Feb 27, 2010 at 6:38 am | Permanent Link | Comments (3)

• Something from nothing

  Feb 10, 2010

  One of my favourite children’s books of all time is by author Phoebe Gilman. Something from Nothing is a fable of a young Jewish family that is poor and doesn’t have much. Joseph, the young boy in the story, is given given a blanket that he loves and takes with him everywhere. It becomes tattered and torn and his grandfather makes it into a jacket, then a vest, then a tie, then a button. When he loses the button Grandpa believes that there’s nothing else he can make. Joseph disagrees… from the lost button comes a wonderful story.

  The story inspires me because everything in life comes from nothing more than an idea. You can trace everything back to one moment of brilliance, usually by one person or maybe just a couple. Think about it; Apple, Facebook, Microsoft, McDonald’s or public health care. It all came from NOTHING but an idea. It took someone to say why not? Instead of we can’t.

  I am sitting in a boardroom in a beautiful old church in Ancaster, Ontario. I am on the second floor looking down at a packed room full of camp displays. One of them is ours, YLCC. 2010 will mark our 18th summer. 18 years ago I sat in a make shift boardroom (my mom’s old dining room table) and said to a friend, “Why not?”. What started out as 50 kids for a weekend is now a camp that works with over 8000 youth a year!

  What is it that you want to do? Why can’t you do it? For every excuse you make there is a solution. For every solution there is a first step. True it’s easier to say it’s too hard, too expensive, too much competition, too many road blocks. The path of least resistance rarely takes you anywhere interesting. Find it, find your passion. What is it that drives you? What do you want to change in your life, your community, your (our) world. You know you have thought about it! You need to trust yourself.

  One small note of caution I want to put out there to all of my younger readers (anyone under the age of 75), the grass always seems greener on the other side. Sometimes it is, rarely though is it true. Make sure you learn all you can from where you are, as my friend Robin Sharma always says you can lead without a title where ever you are. When your ready though, create, create, create! Don’t be afraid to fail!! You might, lord knows (and anyone else who knows me) I have! That’s ok. You learn more from falling flat on your face than you will ever learn in school. Adversity should create new enthusiasm!

  So take a moment and truly think. Be honest. Perhaps the next BIG “thing” is whirling around up in your head. You too can create something from nothing! I believe in you.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Feb 10, 2010 at 5:05 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (1)

• Is it just me?

  Jan 27, 2010

  Is it just me that thinks that the world is a little messed up? Am I the only one that questions the country that says it’s Christian and then sells a bobble head Jesus for 19.99 with proceeds going to the Christian Corp of America? Is it just me that wonders why people believe that they need to put others down to bring themselves up? Is there anyone else that wonders how the world will change and hopefully understand the need to do that dramatic change, when the current generation thinks that a real tragedy is not getting the new iPhone or the car on Thursday night? I must be the only one that is thinking that proroguing the Canadian Parliament until after the Olympics is irrational. There can’t be anyone else who thinks that there is more money is “trying” to find a cure for Cancer, MS and Parkinson’s then actually curing anything, so why bother! Is there any reason why Microsoft Word corrects the spelling of Oprah and not Ghandi. Where is the logic in the American Cancer society raising $146 million (or so) in fundraising in 2009 and the citizens of North America spending 2.8 billion on hand sanitizer in 9 months. I must be the only one that is questioning this.

  Why are we so quick to think that what we see is what we get. Why is it that profit can be made off of fake Haiti fundraisers and it’s washed away in the news to celebrate Jennifer Aniston’s 5 year anniversary of being separated from Brad Pitt. Is there a reason we attach such weight to such gossipy drivel? Is there no one else questioning why hollywood actors band together to raise money for Haiti yet there are still tens of thousands in New Orleans that don’t have adequate housing? Wouldn’t it be a better headline that read “New Orleans wins battle against poverty, homelessness and hurricane devastation” than “New Orleans wins battle over Minnesota”? Why is that we have to wait for Haiti to be devastated before we realize they need help? Do you think Sierra Leone is praying for a tsunami so George Clooney can raise them 30 million dollars?

  Is it just me that thinks real leadership has to start by looking in the mirror, turning the channel and sweeping our own doorstep? Maybe it is. Maybe I am the only one. I hope I am not. We need to look at the BIG picture. Trust me it’s giant and I seem to be looking through a panoramic lenses. Of course, it could just be me.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Jan 27, 2010 at 5:23 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (4)

• Mooooove over

  Jan 18, 2010

  I have been working on my idea of the “Herd Mentality”. This thought is that most humans move together in what they do and how they act based on the Herd, everyone else around them. I believe this to be true because I see it every day. Every where we go there are a plethora of examples.

  I was in Costco with my son a few weeks ago and it was packed, the parking lot was full and there were people roaming the isles with overstuffed shopping carts full of items that they really need in mass quantity. I mean who really doesn’t need 4, 2 litre jugs of olive oil?

  As we picked up the two items we came for we approached the check out area. It seemed like every line was 20 people deep. People were mumbling and grumbling. My son and I squeezed our way through the herd to the middle. There were three lines with only a couple of people in them. We were quickly at the cashier paying for our couple of items and were on the way.

  Matthew turned to me, (please keep in mind he’s 9) and said. “Why is everyone lined up in the long lines and not the short ones?”

  True wisdom from a child! You can’t deny the obvious question. Here’s the thing, it doesn’t take much of a shift for us to get ahead of the crowd. To move away from the herd. Once we did we were successful in getting out of Costco and on our way to much more fun then waiting in line for 30 minutes. If you apply that same idea to life you will find that it doesn’t have to a massive chage in thinking, your actions, your habits to take you to the next level.

  So next time you are feeling like you’re part of a herd trying MOOOOOOving to the left or right and see if you can’t free yourself up a little.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Jan 18, 2010 at 8:53 am | Permanent Link | Comments (2)

• Moments that matter

  Jan 10, 2010

  Being a single father you realize how lucky you had it before the separation. I don’t mean the relationship I had with my partner but the access every day to my children. When you’re married you find lots to do that doesn’t involve spending time with the kids. You are busy, you have work to do, there is something “else” to do.

  “I’ll be there in a minute…” is a far to common phrase that resonates through too many households.

  I am granted access to my children for a total of 66 hours once every two weeks. When you take out sleeping, 26 hours and the drive 12 hours, I have the opportunity to spend 26 hours with my kids. That’s less then 3 days per month of “face time”.

  Somewhere over history our court system has deemed this an adequate amount of time to build and maintain a quality father, child relationship. Well I am here to say that it really isn’t. It’s actually completely the opposite. Since there is not much chance of this changing and parents being considered equal, fathers that do care need to create “MTM’s”, moments that matter.

  Running a camp I get to work with so many young staff that come from single parent homes. I’ve asked many of them about how they remember growing up with having to live with two parents. So many have said the times they spent with their father were so amazing, or they remember those time with such clarity.

  Why is that? It’s because a good single father needs to work to create so much in a very short time. It’s our job to create MTM’s every moment. If we don’t we risk being lost. It’s not a competition, it’s a responsibility.

  So, last night my son and I got to enjoy a BIG MTM. I purchased two tickets at a charity auction for a Toronto Maple Leafs game and we watched them lose, it was a horrible game. The Leafs were abysmal. Here’s the thing though, our night was amazing and we created a true MTM.

  The moment of clarity for me was when Matthew turned to me and said, “Dad, this is the best night of my life.”

  Please understand that this is not meant to say that all fathers deserve equal access, there are many that do not. Each father is different and there needs to be less of a quick, one sided judgement.  Until our courts realize that parents are of equal value and that a good father has an equal role in the upbringing of a healthy child, I will continue to find and create MTM’s for my children. I also encourage all parents not to take the time you have with your kids for granted. These days happen only once.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing on Jan 10, 2010 at 8:08 am | Permanent Link | Comments (5)

• New Day!

  Jan 4, 2010

  There’s a great quote I read today and posted on Twitter…

  Today never occurred before, it will never be repeated. At midnight it will end, quietly, totally, forever. The hours between are full of possibilities.

  It’s a new year, a chance to start over, to create new, to evaluate what has and what could happen.

  I am not a fan of New Years resolutions. I am not a fan of the idea of January 1st being some whimsical day that has such significance that it can change our lives. It can’t. The day is irrelevant. It’s just a day. There are 12 firsts every year. There are 52 monday’s and of course we have 365 midnights. Each of these could be starting point… couldn’t it?

  Here’s my theory, it’s just mine, it doesn’t mean it’s right.

  Every minute of every day is a chance to start over. To create new habits, ideas, choices, friends. You can make January 5th a “New Year”... if you want. Please don’t get discouraged if you already have slipped on your 2010 resolutions, it really doesn’t matter. You can start again tomorrow. It’s brilliant, isn’t it? You have control of you, not Dick Clark, not some stat holiday, not some app on your iPhone… YOU! Chew on it, it’s a new way of looking at making resolutions of making change.

  Happy New Year!

  Follow me on twitter http://twitter.com/ylccstu

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Jan 4, 2010 at 9:01 am | Permanent Link | Comments (2)

• because of you

  Dec 2, 2009

  I am not a “writer”. I have never published a novel. Poetry is not my thing. I am not that eloquent. I love to “spell check”.

  I am not the owner of multiple degrees. My awards shelf is small and the accolades are yet to arrive.

  I write though. I write to express my thoughts. I write to share ideas. I write for me and I guess in the end I am writing for you.

  There’s something about have someone else read my thoughts. It is even better out loud. It’s like a second chance at thinking it through.

  Sometimes when I hear my BLOG read, I hear the words I wanted to say but somehow didn’t.

  Imagine if you had someone else in your head to read your words back to you before you spoke them. Before you hurt someone with careless comments. Before you said “hate”. Maybe you wouldn’t be so quick to say no or even yes.

  Maybe if I could of had you read me my thoughts when I was making all those poor choices… maybe I would have done things differently or not at all. Perhaps I wouldn’t have said some of the things I said or acted the way I did.

  Perhaps though, I would not have lived this life at all. There is something about hearing my thoughts with such eloquence and clarity that makes me sound smarter.

  Here’s the reality though. Most of us don’t have our thoughts read back to us. We have to trust ourselves. Sometimes that person is a scary person to trust. Maybe, just maybe we’re not supposed to have that angel on our shoulder. In the end the universe might just want us to learn from our own mistakes and have no filter at all. Really isn’t that what life is all about?

  I think we actually get this opportunity given to us everyday. It may be the role of a mom or dad, teacher, sister, brother, uncle, coach, doctor, friend, partner, the speaker in the assembly or stranger you meet only once. What if they are telling us that we need to rethink our choices, decisions or path. We choose not to listen though because we don’t need to be “told”. We already know.

  I think we are supposed to listen but we don’t. It takes forever for us to learn. Hey, maybe it’s this blog?

  In the end I still like it when you read my BLOGS back to me.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life Learning and Growing on Dec 2, 2009 at 6:38 am | Permanent Link | Comments (1)

• Mistakes

  Nov 30, 2009

  I remember growing up in the eighties and listening to Billy Joel. He was pretty popular back then. I saw the “Storm Front” tour at Maple Leaf Gardens. There is line from a Billy Joel song that says “You learn more falling flat on your face then you ever will in school.” That line has stuck with me for 25 years.

  Yesterday was the annual Grey Cup football game in Canada. The Montreal Alouettes won the game on a last second field goal. They also lost the game on a last second field goal. You see the other team, the Roughriders, had sent out too many men and were called for a penalty just as the first kick missed the uprights and the Roughriders won. Then didn’t win. Montreal got a second chance and didn’t miss. Now they won!

  The look of sadness was so clear on the losing players faces. They just thought they had won, they jumped, screamed and celebrated. Then they cried, yes some were in tears.

  I know it’s just a game. For these players though, it could have been a moment that they won’t ever have again. After it was all over they interviewed the coach responsible for the mistake. He said something that really resonated with me.

  “It was a mistake, I take full responsibility for it. If I have the chance to be in this situation, it won’t happen again.”

  Incredible response, such poise. He admitted he made a mistake, took full responsibility and learned from it! That’s great. You can’t teach mistakes in school, the real life hard lessons are so powerful. It’s how you deal with them that matters. Yes they hurt sometimes, but, if you pick yourself up, dust off the dirt and pain, you learn.

  Be a leader, learn from your mistakes! It’s never too late to start.

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Nov 30, 2009 at 10:30 am | Permanent Link | Comments (0)

• Family Time?

  Nov 18, 2009

  Every night as a child without question we came home and my family ate together. It was just the way it was. We all talked at dinner, sometimes we fought, sometimes we just sat together and celebrated our disfunction. This continued well after my parents separated. My mom would make dinner for my brother and I. Even when she was a single mom, working full time and struggling to make ends meet.

  As the generations changed, the idea of nightly dinners disappeared. There became Sunday night dinners. One night a week that you would try to eat as a family. Now, in 2009 we fall to the quick fix, microwave, boil in the bag, throw in the oven for 20 minutes type meals. The real crime is that a family dinner has become “eating out”. I am guilty of this as well. I am a single dad that struggles with eating at home, making a dinner, creating a meal that everyone likes. It is MUCH easier to just order off a menu and let someone else cook and clean.

  It doesn’t make it right though.

  I was just in Michigan, having dinner at a very expensive chain restaurant, on a Tuesday, in an area that is the hardest hit in America due to the current economic “crisis”.

  Not a seat open in the house. 15-20 minute wait. I look over at a family of four, drinking pop, eating a tower of onion rings, one of the boys standing on his chair while eating, the oldest daughter texting, the middle daughter playing her Nintendo DS, the mother reading an email on her Blackberry, the father was oblivious to it all.

  I asked my waitress how much they spent on their dinner… “about $200…”

  I was so saddened. I was sad for that family because they won’t have the experience that I had. My family was and is far from perfect, but I cherish those dinners more then ever. I am making a commitment this weekend to my family, we will eat at home, I will cook and we will all talk, laugh and argue together. That’s a family, I hope it’s not too late to save that old idea.

  What’s for dinner tonight?

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership Family Life on Nov 18, 2009 at 2:42 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (1)

• Commit

  Nov 16, 2009

  Leaders are people that can commit to something, anything, all things. There are two keys to being a success at this skill. One, is not to over commit. The other key is to simply follow through with what it is you say your going to do. It’s that simple if you say “I will do that.” then you should do it. If you are having a hard time with following through you should go back to whomever you committed to and say, “I need more time.” or “I may have over extended myself.”.

  If the person you are working with is not irrational then they should, I hope understand. Just don’t leave it to late so it can’t be fixed.

  The other and just as important type of commitments you make are the one you make to yourself. If you say you are going to drink two litres of water a day, do it. If you say you are going to stay in shape and walk everyday, walk every day. It’s true there may not be anyone to call you on it, but you will know and your confidence will be damaged.

  ALWAYS under promise and OVER deliver. That’s my commitment!

  
  

  Posted by Stu Saunders in Leadership on Nov 16, 2009 at 12:32 pm | Permanent Link | Comments (1)

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